Monday, January 31, 2011

God Does Care about Impulse Control Issues

At times I do find myself in the sin of worry for my daughter. With all this stuff we are discovering, comes an impulse control issue. In her brain there is just not the same thing that mine has that tells me to stop doing something. It is like a filter that weeds out those things for me but hers is missing.

Of course this presents difficulty in dealing with sin issues. I wonder often what is sinful behavior and what is impulse issues. The discipline has to be different here. I need discernment to know between the two. Then today I was reading through Numbers and read about safety for those with impulse issues. See this is nothing new. And God made them the way He did for specific reasons. He is the perfect potter.

Numbers 35:22-25 (NLT) states regarding murder,
22 “But suppose someone pushes another person without having shown previous hostility, or throws something that unintentionally hits another person, 23 or accidentally drops a huge stone on someone, though they were not enemies, and the person dies. 24 If this should happen, the community must follow these regulations in making a judgment between the slayer and the avenger, the victim’s nearest relative: 25 The community must protect the slayer from the avenger and must escort the slayer back to live in the city of refuge to which he fled. There he must remain until the death of the high priest, who was anointed with the sacred oil.

Isn't that interesting? I don't have to worry about my daughter. God has got her. If He provided something like this, a city of refuge for incidences like these then we can get through these smaller issues. He knew that these things would happen. He provided safety for the one who was impulsive. There are still consequences for the actions because they are uprooted and moved to the city of refuge for a time but reading about anyone else who intentionally commits murder, they lose their lives for it.

I love that God provides a way for all things. This passage eased my mind. God is sovereign and He has all the days of my daughters life in His hands and worked out. He planned these from the beginning of time and nothing is a surprise to Him.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Please Don't Tell Me My God is Not Personal

"Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs." ~Zephaniah 3:17

As I have been doing this Bible study with Dee Brestin and some wonderful ladies over at her blog,
God has been showing me a sin of needing approval from others that is alive and well in my heart. I did some things to try to remove it in obedience. I thought I was doing pretty good. In one area I had this under control yet it snuck up in another area!

Oh our hearts are so easily deceived! Lately I have been seeking approval from others about my daughters condition with aspergers. As a mother I want affirmation or approval from others that this is indeed what she has. A mom knows her children best afterall, yet most people do not see this in her. They know she is a little different but don't see aspergers clearly. Yet based on all my research I know what is going on with her. Others have limited time and contact with her. I know. I have God's approval in this because He is the one that has been leading us down this path to find help for our family.

On our way to church tonight I was discussing what God revealed to me to my husband. Wondering why I feel a need for others approval or affirmation. I resolved to give this to the Lord. I knew I did not need any ones approval or affirmation on this journey. I released it. Whatever happened we would work with this and research as parents to give her the best possible help.

There was a concert at our church. Do you know that the guy singing wrote a song for a family going through this process of thinking their kid had aspergers. Then he sings this song to us. AMAZING! It was the assurance and approval that can only come from God. How amazing is that? God is so good. He gave us what we needed at the time we needed it. He is a very personal God. He is all we need and the only one we need approval from.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A Raw Post for a Raw Day

You know I have thought about whether this should be a journal post or a blog post and felt conflicted. Yet if we cannot be real with one another then really how can we help each other. This is just where I am at.

Today has been a rough day and I need to tell you I have been tempted in some rough ways. I feel like a complete failure as a mother. Working with a special needs child can sometimes be especially demanding, especially if no one else can see it clearly. You see with Aspergers there is not much time for a break. These children are highly social so they have many words and many questions, yet misunderstand so many social cues. This is a great source of sibling strife.

Seeing that my child needed much more today I spent more time with her. This is typical really. I just have to spend more time sometimes to meet her needs. Naturally this takes away from the other child. So she doesn't get the time that she really desires. She doesn't complain and sacrifices so much. I admire her really. I would probably be the kid stomping my foot demanding the attention I should get.

Today I felt like a complete failure again. We cried together. Yet there is nothing we can do to change this. Today we started counseling so maybe we will figure something out to help. Then we feel guilty for feeling this way in the first place because these behaviors cannot be helped. Yet I feel drained completely.

Lately we have had late nights. My sweet baby girl is having such a hard time falling asleep. When it rains or the wind blows or she has heard word of snow she cannot sleep. We are tired. We want her to be okay. Yet there is nothing we can do about it. Nothing. Now that is humbling. So where do we go from here?

This is where the temptations come in:
~I have been tempted to feel like I did something wrong in pregnancy...Blaming myself
~I have been tempted to be angry with God...He is saddened as well. He died because of sin. He loved us enough to die and raise again to defeat it. I should not be mad at Him.
~I have been tempted to blame God...There is no need to blame the potter who molded her into what she is. It is hard now but I know God has great plans. Just this tough spot is no reason to blame. The best is yet to come for all of us. He uses every bit of it. EVERY bit of it to shape us more like HIM.
~I have been tempted to just quit...My kids need me there is not quitting. That is completely selfish.

So I turn to the TRUTH. Never my feelings. Feelings are shallow. They can lead you into wrong thinking. They need to be redirected toward the truth. So this is what we do. We soak our minds into the Word of truth and pour out our hearts to the only one who can really help and heal. To our Father, the God of the universe who hears and loves us completely. Who heals and helps. Who is all we need. Truly.

"Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior." ~Psalm 27:9

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Monday, January 24, 2011

Memory Work Monday

So this week I have some trouble with my Philippians verses. This week I am working on the same ones again but adding the next chunk to my list. So my goal is big but the verses are Philippians 1:12-18 then 19-24.

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Six

So much can be said on prayer but this post wraps up this study. I will continue to write on the subject as God teaches me new things but for this little study. This will be it.

"He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."
~2 Corinthians 1:10-11

Now these verses just amazingly address the power of prayer. God had delivered Paul from some crazy horrible things. Part of that deliverance came because people helped with prayers for him. How wonderful is that? If you ever need a passage to remind yourself that your prayers matter, memorize this one.

We must pray as God leads because when we do things happen. I do not know why God works alongside us in this way. He does not need us. He is all powerful. I think it is just part of His love for us and His desire for intimacy with us.

So believer, know prayer is a gift, privilege, and responsibility. Do it as God leads. It matters. We should be thankful for that.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Five


"He went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people."
~Revelation 5:7-9

These passages are speaking of the very throne of God! Before Him are these four living creatures that continually worship Him. They are holding golden bowls filled with incense. What is the incense? It is the prayers of the saints! It is every prayer spoken by you and I. Isn't that amazing?

In the Old Testament tabernacle the priests would burn incense before the throne and this was just a shadow of this picture we see in Revelation. Here is what is said in Exodus about this incense.

"Put the altar in front of the curtain that shields the ark of the covenant law—before the atonement cover that is over the tablets of the covenant law—where I will meet with you.“Aaron must burn fragrant incense on the altar every morning when he tends the lamps. He must burn incense again when he lights the lamps at twilight so incense will burn regularly before the LORD for the generations to come."
~Exodus 30:6-8

There was an altar of incense that was placed in front of the curtain that separated the holy place from the most holy place. God's presence was behind the curtain. No one was allowed in there except the chosen priest once a year. God however required the priests to keep this incense burning regularly. For us today that is a reference to praying continually since the bowls of incense before Him in Heaven are the prayers of the saints.

That means like incense that burned before God our prayers are fragrant offerings to God. Isn't that amazing? And that curtain that separated anyone from coming into God's presence (in the temple) was torn in two when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus opened a way for us to come boldly into the presence of God (Hebrews 4:16). And even better so He gave us the Holy Spirit who is the very living breathing God to live within us. That is some amazing stuff! What an amazing gift we have to come before Him in prayer. So why do we not use that gift as often as we should?


Father, give us ears to hear You, help us desire to pray continually. Help us to grow in you. We are amazed by You and Your greatness. We are in awe of You ways. Thank You for making a way for us. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Four

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior"
~1 Timothy 2:1-3

In these verses I love that prayer is described as something that pleases God. And it is to be made for ALL people. It is an urgent request because it is important. It effects how we live. The verse goes on to state the reason for these prayers, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. Isn't that worth taking the time out to pray for?

Also, do not forget to pray for your leaders. They are the ones who make the decisions. They are the ones who God has put in place to do that. Pray for them continually because it effects things greatly. Do you believe this? And above all I want to please God. In these verses it says it pleases Him.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Small Study of Prayer - Part Three

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."
~ Colossians 4:2

Ever wonder what God's will is for you? Well simply put in 1 Thessalonians listed above it says, to rejoice (when?) ALWAYS, pray (when?) CONTINUALLY, give thanks (when?) IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.

Now that is easier to say than do. It is an act of the will sometimes to be these things. But when we keep our eyes on Jesus and behold Him He will make this possible. We must keep Him forever at the center of our thoughts and hearts. When He is this will be our desire.

It is my thought that anytime we feel a distance between ourselves and God it is because He is not our center. I have found this to be the truth each time in my own life. Sometimes I have to fiercely fight to keep Him the center and other times it comes more naturally. That is just how life works. It is like this for all of us.

These verses sum it up well. Hebrews 12:1-3, " 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Do you have any examples of taking your eyes off Jesus and How God brought you back to Him?

3 in 30 week 3

I am encouraged by my goals this month. They are coming along and making themselves into good habits I think and hope!

1-Define ministry - still following Amy Bayliss' posts on this. They are 31 days worth. My husband and I have been brainstorming great things and will bring them to pass at their proper time. You will see some changes already on this blog. I added tabs and added a subscribe button.

2-Write something everyday whether by journal or blog. Been accomplishing this. It is just flowing out of me now that I have been obedient in it. There are times that it does not and that is okay too. Just as long as I reflect on what God is doing day by day.

3-Water intake. I have been doing pretty good here. I have seen great health benefits in this! So exciting! So I must make myself keep this up. It is really worth it and I still would like to increase some more.

Hope you all are doing great and look forward to checking out your goals.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Two

“I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one. So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign LORD.”
~Ezekial 22:30-31

The book of Ezekial is the most interestingly strange book I have read. I love it but have a hard time understanding a lot of it. I like to read Scripture and ask God to help me understand. Sometimes His answer to me is wait. So I read it again and again and the Spirit will give me a little more understanding then a little more. It is a process.

However, this passage speaks for itself. It speaks of the utter urgency and importance of prayer. And at times He has shown me my lack of prayer and how consequences arise from that. God was searching for someone who would pray. Someone who would intercede on behalf of someone else. But He found NO ONE! That makes my heart weep. He found NO ONE!

During this process of seeing this own sin in my heart this could have very well been me. One of the NO ONES because He searched and called but I ignored it. Oh Lord, please help me not fall into this again. You see prayer changes things. It effects things. It moves things. It is important.

We must slow down in the quiet so we can really hear. We need to have stillness so we can just sit quietly before God. He wants to speak to us. He has given us an amazing book, the Bible that is poured out with His words. We need to focus on it, ponder it, meditate on it.

What suggestions do you have for practicing stillness? How do you do this?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Small Study on Prayer - Part One

"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you." 
~1 Samuel 12:23

In this passage of Scripture, Israel had asked for a king. God was suppose to be their King. However, they wanted an earthly king like everyone around them had. God decided to give them what they wanted. Samuel was the leader of the people at the time and their prophet. He is the one who says the verse above.

The point is, we are to pray for one another. God made us one body of believers that He loves. If any part of the body suffers it all suffers. In my post yesterday, I talked about people gossiping about me. I was angry and hurt and I said in my heart, fine I will simply not pray for them anymore.

This is sin. Just because someone is not acting the way you desire is not a reason to stop praying. Really they need the prayer even more because God is the only one who can move and change hearts. Samuel knew this simple truth. He knew to stop praying would be sin.

Have you ever fallen into the sin of prayerlessness? How did it happen? How did God bring you out of it? Do you need prayer for anything now? Please share, would love to hear your stories.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The World of Autism and Us

Many mornings in our home start off with a need for intervention. Some sort of spat ends up breaking out. I am now seeing why. Here is an example of a typical morning.

The scene is both girls playing together quite well. Then my aspie girl says something rude. That comment hurts my overly sensitive child. She wails and comes to me over it. My aspie girl is emotionally flat about it which makes my overly sensitive child even more upset.

I intervene and ask, "Sweet baby why did you say that to your sister?" "Do you understand that it is mean?"

Her reply, "She just kept talking and I wanted her to stop so I said it so she would stop talking, yes I know it is mean."

I say, "Well honey when something is bothering you you need to tell her. Ask her nicely to stop because it was hurting you."

Her reply, "Oh, okay I can do that." Her reaction was like, wow, I can do that?

I say, "Okay now it is appropriate for you to apologize to your sister and we can explain together what was happening to you."

So there you go. My very black and white child who likes things in perfect order and my very gray child together trying to work life out. I say we have lots of opportunity for sanctification. And I am excited because a friend of mine let me borrow a book called, Autism through a Sister's Eyes, it is a book for my nine year old that was written based on a nine year old girls journey with her own sibling who has aspergers. I hope it helps her see things in the more gray area and will learn to not be so hurt by it.

The Sin of Prayerlessness - Stronghold Exposed

God has brought me through so much. I am so thankful for it all. However, it took a wonderful mentor of mine to pinpoint some very important words that would be used by God to make a huge breakthrough in my life. Dee Brestin is doing a wonderful Bible study on her blog. The post was called, What Turns our Hearts to Stone. 

This is what was said,

What Satan wants to do is cause “attachment disorder” between you and your heavenly Father.
“Attachment disorder” occurs when the person who should have protected you hurts you.

You see, I used to have an amazing amount of faith in prayer. I would pray for things that others would probably play it safe on. I experienced the joy of seeing prayer after prayer answered the way I prayed. It was amazing. I felt super confident in God and in my prayers. I do think we are all to pray but I think that prayer is a spiritual gift as well. It is a helps gift and is very important. 2 Corinthians 1:11a states, "You also must help us by prayer." I think because of that it just comes easier to some. This was what was happening with me.  And it had nothing to do with me only the grace given by God.

Like the gift of teaching, it will be a joy and come easy for the teacher. Serving, will happen with joy and come easy for the one with the gift of service. Prayer as a spiritual gift will come easily and with great joy. A spiritual gift is a grace given to you by the Holy Spirit. Generally it is a great joy to operate in your gifts. It is something that just comes naturally though it can be improved with practice over time as we grow.

With that said, all are called to pray, all are called to preach the gospel to the world, and all are called to serve one another. God uses the body with each individual using their God given grace gifts to help it grow and mature. This is to edify the body of Christ nothing else. It is not something you use for personal gain that you withhold from others. A spiritual gift is to be shared and used to serve others. When we each operate in our gifts we strengthen the body of Christ and keep it healthy. When we don't use our gifts we are not keeping the body healthy. Each one plays an important part. This must be taken seriously. 

We cannot simply state that our part is not needed. We must know that when we fail to operate in our gifting it effects the entire body. It is also operating in disobedience. Often I am tempted to feel that this helps gift of intercession is insignificant. I cannot measure it for results like one would who might be gifted in hospitality and sees immediate joy because they opened their home to someone.

However over time my heart started to shift. I liked being known as the one you wanted praying for you. I started seeing God as the gift giver instead of God alone. I was going after God because of what He did not just because of who He was. This was a painful truth to be confronted with. And it happened when I prayed one of those put your self out there kind of prayers.

When God didn't answer this particular prayer it devastated me. To make matters worse people started gossiping about it. I felt like I stepped out there for God and He let me fall. So because of this satan planted some lies I believed and embraced in my head then in my heart. I formed attachment disorder with God. I thought I could not trust Him. This is where the problem took place.

God has worked so much in my life since then but I still find myself being "safe" because I cannot bear to just let go and trust God fully. He is showing me that I can and this is where healing is taking place. This also is where this need for approval I spoke of earlier took root. 

I am so thankful that He shows us things in our hearts and desires us to be fully His. Our hearts are deceitful and we often do not even know what is in them but God knows. He always knows and He loves us enough to not allow it to stay in our hearts to rot. He will show us as we seek Him and help us work it out. The pain we feel He feels alongside us. He is safe though not controlled by us. He can be trusted fully but His ways are not our ways. We just have to trust who He is and that He knows best.

This has been a very vulnerable post in my struggle with prayer over these past few years. I still pray but it is nothing like it was in the past. I am coming back to that. In obedience I am listening now. I want to stay here. He delights in our prayers. The next couple posts will be a Bible study about prayer. Hope you will enjoy them and grow yourself in prayer.

Monday, January 17, 2011

LIfe in the Kingdom - Part 7

There once was a kingdom full of love. They strived to care and love for one another in good times and bad. They cared so much that they did the right thing even when it hurt. It created a healthy kingdom. A good kingdom, the kind that is rare and precious. The kind that desperately needs to be guarded.

You see years ago this kingdom was once very cold and uncaring. Many left it but because of tradition many also stayed. The enemy was happy. It was a complacent place. Not a threat to him.

But then one day a new ruler came, he strived to fulfill God's purpose. He worked tirelessly by pouring out his life on behalf of the kingdom. He loved well. He lifted up Christ. Christ changed hearts. Christ drew people in. Life started to burst forth. The kingdom started to thrive.

The enemy was furious to see it. You see, a cold kingdom is not a threat. He cannot stand unity and God centered places. So the enemy watched and waited...He prowled like he likes to and waited patiently for an opportune time to attack. He is a smart enemy. He studies his subjects well. He took some captive to do his will, unknowing subjects.

One day many in the kingdom, more than not, wanted to show their love to these kind leaders of the kingdom. They used words many times to honor them but this time they wanted to give them something tangible. It was a great gesture to those who did indeed pour out their lives for them like a drink offering. It is a rare thing indeed.

Many liked this idea. Many wanted this offered to them. However, there were others in the kingdom who didn't like this gift. It is here that the enemy started to work. Since agreement could not be made here the gift was not given. Now the kingdom has a challenge.

Can it rise up and agree to disagree? Can it move forward knowing that God will work this out? This is the point in time where the enemy likes to sew in discord and doubt which leads only to bitterness if not dealt with. This is a time for the kingdom to rise up and walk keeping God the focus and center anyway. And whatever needs to be done now, let it be in God's hands.

God has even greater plans than what was even offered. He works in ways that are bigger and wider than we can even begin to think and even imagine. He is a good gift giver and He will give gifts in His ways. Perfect gifts. And as the kingdom moves forward in love and unity it will offer a great victory of sacrifice before the Lord. A sacrifice of praise which confuses the enemy. Moving in victory over the enemy and what he tried to accomplish. The Father sees and He is well pleased because even though things went terribly bad He will reward in His due time.

Memory Work Monday

So far I I have made it through Philippians 1:1-11. It is still choppy in some places because I tend to mix translations. So it is not word perfect but context wise and message is right. So I am still working on word perfect for ESV. I bought an ESV study Bible maybe a year ago and have really enjoyed it.

I have started a few months ago reading it cover to cover and all the study notes that go along with it. It has been amazing. God has given me a newer and deeper understanding of Scripture. So excited. I am currently going through the book of Numbers.

My memory verses this week are:

For family growth and SSMT:
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." ~Psalm 19:4

Philippians verses this week are 1:12-18
 12I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, 13so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. 14And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.15 Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. 18What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Day in our Life with Snow in the South - Our Home a Week Later

A week after snow here in the southeast...Chattanooga, TN. Finally yesterday my husband slid the van down the drive. It was a very scary thing for me to watch. We are still badly iced. See the picture below.

That is all ice under that snow. Our car is still up there. We have to park the van on the street. However with a driveway like this comes a house on a hill similar to it...So this is how we get our groceries in.

It is not really easy because there is still a lot of snow and it is kind of slick...A few more pics of our hill. Which by the way made for great sledding. You can see the path on the right of the pic.

Practical shoes for this type of snow on a slick hill is a must. Makes me think that the Parsley's will be dressing down for church tomorrow. It will not be gone by then.

Here is a better look at the sled track! It was really pretty fast. So again as life goes on for most of those in Chattanooga. We are still really crippled in what we can do. Not really bringing up tons to the house this way.
Such an interesting memory for us.

Friday, January 14, 2011

God's Power Seen in the Snow

"God’s voice is glorious in the thunder. We can’t even imagine the greatness of his power.“He directs the snow to fall on the earth and tells the rain to pour down.Then everyone stops working so they can watch his power."
~Job 37:5-7 NLT

Saw these verses posted on a Facebook friends post. Love them because we did get to see God's power not once but twice in the amazing amounts of snow He let fall. I know people are wanting to get back to work and even being obsessive about it but the verse clearly states that God does this so that everyone stops working so we can take in His greatness. If only we all could learn to just be still and know He is God (Psalm 46:10).

So after being snowed in and trapped inside ceasing to work for two entire weeks in less than a month I sit reflective and thankful. I am in awe of our mighty God and what He does. I saw miracles worked in my own home during this time but those things won't happen until we stop the noise and take time to just see as He would have us see things. What kind of things did you see? Or have you seen in these types of situations?

3 in 30 Goal Update


My goals are listed here for this month.

1-Defining ministry has been coming along great as I tarry in prayer and God's word. Amy Bayliss is doing a great series on this same topic that I am also learning from right now. You can check it out on her blog.

2-I have been writing everyday. More on the blog since I have been taking a break from Facebook and Twitter.

3-I have increased my water intake though I find this as being the hardest of them all. I will try to increase even more this next week.

Been blessed by going through this with you all in the challenge. It is still not too late to join in just click on the picture above.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Some Nice Healing Taking Place

Many of you have read my post about taking a break from Facebook and Twitter. If you have not you can find it here. This is what God has been doing:
1-He has shown me from where this deep need for approval is rooted.
2-He has shown me that He is the only one from whom we need approval.
3-He has shown me He is the One and Only who grows our ministries.
4-He has given me great insight from an amazing mentor.
5-In addition to the unhealthy approval need, He has shown me how much time I waste on social media. There is a balance and He is teaching me to find it.
6-He has shown me that my online presence does matter and I need to use it for His glory alone.
7-He has reminded me to keep my eyes on Him.
8-He has reminded me that Facebook and Twitter are awesome opportunities to pray for others.

Okay so now I have cleaned some things up and will be able to return soon I am sure. I love how God shows us these things in our hearts that are not pleasing to Him yet by the work of the Holy Spirit He removes them. How by the blood of the Cross in Christ we are completely approved by Him and that is all that matters.

It has been only a few days away so far but I have enjoyed catching up on blog reading, spending more time with my family, and sinking deep into His word. Now I need to be certain I hear Him clearly on my time to return. Unfortunately when I do things like this I am super hard on myself and where God may have released me to go back on I will be harder on myself than needed. Please pray for me in this. Also there are a few things I just need to clean up to make it a more safe environment.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Wondering if this ADHD is Wrong

While we were stuck in the cabin, which seems like yesterday, my husband and I watched the movie Temple Grandin. It is a really good movie about a woman who overcomes many obstacles dealing with her autism. As we watched the show I just cried. Not because it was a sad movie, rather it was quite inspirational. I cried because I saw many similarities with my youngest child.

My girl saw parts of this movie and she was comforted by the fact that this lady thought in pictures just like her. She wondered if anyone else did that. It opened our eyes to a lot of things. We took this time to just observe and we noticed things we didn't pay attention to before. We think that what this quirkiness is called is Asperger's. This is a high functioning form of autism.

We checked out some websites and online support groups and it sounds so very similar. Things we have been struggling through are not unusual for those with this. I believe God created my girl perfect and this is just a greater opportunity for her to be challenged to overcome and grow into an even stronger person. She is amazing to me and brings so much life to our home.

As we implement things and try to understand her better we are seeing some great improvements in her and our family. We are all learning together how to make this work and how to best prepare her for whatever God has in store for this beautifully gifted child. Did I tell you she got baptized a few weeks ago? I cannot wait to see all God has in store for her and us. It is an honor and privilege to be entrusted to raise this little one.

Enduring Adverse Reactions

One horrible thing about fighting this skin infection with antibiotics is the adverse reactions my body endures because of them. It cannot be a good thing for my body yet it is what is diagnosed to heal. The first time I did it I think I healed but it being a year now it is hard to remember. It comes and goes. Gets better and worse.

This particular antibiotic I am on causes extreme fatigue and horrible joint pain. It is hard for me to determine if it is just the pill or because I once had late stage Lyme disease. Lyme disease triggers horrible responses to antibiotics. More horrible than I can properly describe. These side effects are mild comparatively to what I endured before. I was treated for about a year of heavy duty antibiotics and thought I was going to die in the process. Hard treatment. So because of those experiences it makes me wonder why I react this way to them?

Anyway, I would just appreciate prayer as I endure this for the sake of a cure. I must know that I am sharing in the sufferings of Christ and He completely understands this and relates to me in it. He carries me. I need to keep my eyes on Him. His joy is my strength. In my weakness He is strong. He will never leave or forsake me. I trust Him.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Cabin Deja vu - Snowed in Again

Today we got snowed in again in the south. I am beginning to wonder what all this global warming talk nonsense is all about. Clearly we keep getting snow. Pretty comical. Today it was okay to be snowed in because we are in our home. We have plenty to sustain us until it clears up. Schools have been cancelled for tomorrow as well so I am not sure how long this will last.

We have a driveway that would be a great luge track. It is completely covered and iced. We had 8 inches of snow today. Wow! We are not those folks who go out and buy a sled for a few days a year. We make big slabs of wood and trash can lids work for this. I guess we have creatively adapted to our current environment.

However, I am feeling tempted to move further south. This amount of snow is more than enough for me. It is fun for a bit but this much is just overrated.

But, I am thankful...
1-We get some great time with the family.
2-We are creating snow memories (which I was afraid the kids would miss out on since we moved south).
3-We have power.
4-We have food.
5-We are in an environment where we have what we need.

Memory Work Monday

So excited to tell you all that I have done well on my verses from last week by the grace of God!! I do keep tripping up on my Philippians because I switched from NIV to ESV. But I will get it as I practice. :)

This week I will work on Philippians 1:7-11
 7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
 9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

I love how Paul prays. So much we can glean from him.

Now, since my next memory verse for SSMT is not due til 1/15 I will just keep meditating on Phil. 4:29. It has helped me greatly with the words I speak this week. I love how God's word renews our minds and has the power to change us.

Here are some verses I am writing down concerning my struggle with the need for approval. Hoping to burn them into my brain and heart as well.

15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. ~2 Timothy 2:15
(Look closely to who we are to present ourselves too) GOD! Not man. :)

4 On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4
(Look closely at who we are to please) GOD! Not man. :)

For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends. ~2 Corinthians 10:18
(Look closely at who is the one who does the commending) God! Not man. :)

Sunday, January 9, 2011


I do not think anything in life is a simple coincidence. I believe all things happen at certain times for a certain reason. Why do I think this? Because we have an intelligent designer. A great God who knows the number of our days, who knew us before we were even born, who even knows the very number of hairs on our heads. Now that is a God of order and of great detail yet so very personal and involved. I love that.

This post comes at a perfect time like I stated above. It has been a year now that I have been dealing with this horrible skin infection. It seems to cling on not wanting to give up. I may need to become more drastic in my treatment of it by fasting or eating only non processed foods but I am on a strong antibiotic which makes those things a little hard to do. The medicine makes me really sick if I do not have something substantial on my stomach...but I digress. Praying through these things.

Today I woke up with it looking really gross and I mean seriously disgusting. The spot that is like that is right on the center top of my nose. Talk about not being able to hide that one! I tried to cover it up but to no avail. Because of that I decided to stay home from church today. I cannot be around people looking like this. I do not think I am contagious but if an open sore is around then I don't want to chance it.

Okay enough with the gross stuff. It just reminded me of what God has had me reading lately (no coincidence) I have been reading through Leviticus. I love this book so much. This time in my reading I paid really close attention to the big deal that was made with people who had skin infections. There is an entire two chapters that address this issue. Basically the person with the infection was sent to live outside the camp for 7 days then was reexamined to see if he could come back in. He was deemed unclean until the priest could say he was clean again. Some cases were leprosy and some were not.

I always wondered what that felt like. Now I think I get it a little bit. My pastor did not say don't come near because you are unclean, that would be ridiculous, however I said it. I am also reminded that God never said that being unclean is associated with being a bad or sinful person. Never did He say that. This was just good for the people to prevent spreading of diseases. They did not have antibiotics and things like we do today.

Also, anything lame, defected, or deformed was not considered holy in those days. But today we have JESUS. He has made all things clean through His sacrifice and shed blood on the cross. He was not afraid to go to the leapers and heal them. He came to save those that were helpless. So now, I am clean in HIM alone though my skin is not on the outside. He is the most amazing thing to me. I adore Him. I stand in awe that someone like me can be deemed CLEAN.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Unexpected Blessings

I am so blessed to share my health journey/testimony with the Lord over at Lisa Shaw's site today. She is an amazing woman of God, a rare blessing that I thank God for continually. Go over and see it here.

Again, words I myself needed to hear! Funny how God brings our words back to us. He is so good like that. I really needed to hear them because I had another flare up with this horrible face infection. Been fighting it for a year now. It seems I need another two months of antibiotics to treat it. Yet I will find the joy in it. God always has a purpose. I will trust and stand firm as I deal with this. It is a crazy privilege to share in His sufferings, a honor really. Lord, change me and help me see it this way.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Going off Facebook and Twitter

Hey all. God has been dealing with a heart issue of mine. It is the need for approval. It is really at its worst online. Like, "why didn't anyone comment on this?" or "Why does so and so talk with them so often and not me?" or "Why am I following this person and they don't follow me back?" Petty and stupid stuff. It is something that has taken root in my heart and Satan is happy to use it to mess with my mind continually.  I think the only solution at this point is to take a break from social media.

It is an obedience step and I am not sure how long it will go on but I am listening to Him. I want my full joy to come from Him alone. Not from me. Not from what He can give me. Just from Him alone. I will be updating you all about my journey on the blog. This is just a place for me to be very real about it and take seriously the sin that has found its way into my heart.

With that said I know there is a balance in this and I hope to find it. It is fine for people to give you a word of encouragement or compliment something that you have done. We just need to keep Christ in the center of this knowing anything that we have done is because of Him.

Now I am going to be doing a Bible study online at (join me) dealing with this and have a woman's group that I will be accountable to in the journey here. I will be focusing on saturating God's word in my heart. I will spend time beholding Him. Please pray for a breakthrough here. AND let me know how I can use this time to lift you before our Father.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Confession of Insecurity

`I have a confession to make. God gave me this ministry some time ago. The purpose was to connect people and encourage those in the faith. This life can be hard and it is so important to keep Christ the center. This is the ministry that God has given me in order to serve others in the unique community of the Internet. This is the reason for my online presence.

However, I found some really thriving ministries with some really amazing people. I adore each one of them and had the amazing opportunity to work alongside them. This was a good thing but as I kept up my work for others I neglected this place that the Lord gave me. I felt like those ministries were valid where mine was well just me. I thought that no one would benefit from this because it was me. Oh my!? Do you hear it over and over again...ME. What in the world?! And where did that slip in?! Good intentions that were God directed but disobeyed.

I had to cut back on contributing for other ministries at this time because of what had happened in my heart. Obedience is more important than sacrifice right? I need to invest in this place first and what God has given here. Then when I get it where God wants it to go, then I can help in other ministries. I still consider myself partnered with them because I love them dearly and I am still going to point you to them. It is so important to walk shoulder to shoulder with other like minded believers.

God has shown me that if He is in it that is all I need. Hang with me as I seek Him, pray and redefine this ministry in the way He wants it. I know some exciting things are coming. I just need to take time in clearly moving as He leads. Thanks for your patience with me in this. Please pray for my family as we work it all out. I know obedience is the most important thing and I cannot wait to see what God does with it as I open my hands and let go of some securities in other people and jump into the unknown with Him.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Memory Work Monday - What I am Working on

For accountability this is what I am working on memorizing this week (listed under this). Lately I have realized that meditation on God's word is what is life changing. So often we are thrown off guard in life with unexpected circumstances or happenings from things as simple as bad traffic to diagnosis of devastating illness.

Over the years the only thing that has gotten me through is solid grounding in God's word. I have read the Bible over and over many times but it is just lately that I have realized that meditation on it is very beneficial. With that said, this year I will be working on lots of memory work from the word. Alot of it is in me already, the Holy Spirit will bring those back to memory as He always does in situations. I need it. It is something I know that will be good for me. So it is a purely selfish venture with a good motivation. I just know beyond a doubt I need God's word for survival and any kind of thriving in this life. I will try to post new work every Monday and update you all on my progress.

For SSMT this is my verse:
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

For our family sanctification:
"Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits." Colossians 3:21(MSG)

For memorizing a book along with church family. (Started this a few times but never worked whole way through):
Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the and deacons: overseers
2Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:1-6 (ESV)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Please Check Out A Woman Inspired's New Website

This is just too good to pass by. I love this women's ministry site so very much! Check out their new make over here. What a wonderful job they have done!!

Featured now are several 31 days of inspiration in different areas we all need to focus on in our lives. Pick one and follow you will not be disappointed. I cannot even tell you how much I love each of these beautiful, godly women from the bottom of my heart. They shine Jesus so very beautifully.

Topics of focus are:
31 days of Online Ministry
31 days of Prayer
31 days of Intentional Parenting
31 days of Social Media
31 days of Praise
31 days of Encouragement
31 days of Wordpress

Such good stuff. Check it all out. AND.....
So excited about the Get Revived Conference in April 2011. It is completely free and online. I have the amazing honor of speaking alongside some other wonderful women you will not want to miss. Love to you all and cannot wait to see all God is going to do through this ministry.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

3 in 30 Day Challenge

Another thing I am doing this year is participating with some twitter friends in reaching goals for accountability purposes. The idea is to make a list of 3 goals that you can reach in 30 days. My three for this month are as follows:

1- Come up with a defined goal and mission statement for this ministry.

2- Discipline myself to write something each day for the month, whether by blog or journal.

3- Drink more water. Not sure how much but any increased amount is good for me.

Family Goals, Scripture Memory and My First Test

This year we are going to pursue Christ likeness together in the areas we see in each other that need it the most. It will promote encouragement and family accountability. I am so excited about this. Especially since we are doing it together. We came up with this idea as we were stuck in the cabin in the mountains.

So here is my verse. I am also memorizes along with wonderful ladies at site. Siesta Memory Scripture Team begins so go on over if you want to participate. We memorize 2 verses a month.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

Now in the process of memorizing it is not enough to just sit as that. We want to see how we can really apply these verses to our lives to promote change. Little would I know when I picked this verse that our family has just been attacked and slandered by someone! But I am going to keep Ephesians 4:29 right in the front of my mind. There is nothing I can say to this that would be good for building up or give grace so in this case I am just going to keep my mouth shut trusting God in it.

Excited to see all that God has in store as we store up His word in our hearts. Would love to hear from you if you are doing anything similar.
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