Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Random Ponderings

So much seems to be going on that life is often in a whirl. Much of the time I just want to sit still and be quiet but life eludes me. So in the quiet moments I try to get the most out of them.

Today I woke up super early to head to the gym. After my workout I headed to Starbucks for a well earned Cafe Mocha. I used my $25 gift card that I got from my brother for Christmas! What a great brother! Amen?

I am coming out of a valley of depression, or so I hope. It is one I have walked in for what seems far to long. As a writer or creative type I suppose that is part of the territory. I am more of a "feeling" person. I so can relate to David in the Psalms. I am so praising God for those precious Psalms. With them it helps me feel much more normal. I can relate to David. On Wednesday we are starting "Stepping Up" by Beth Moore. Who do you think is facilitating this thing? Yours truly! I do think it is quite funny that God uses the weak things. In my weak condition I feel so inadequate to "lead" this. That is how it goes. In ministry we cannot just sit and wait until we "feel" like doing something to do it. Instead we need to wait until God says go and do it despite our feelings about it.

Yesterday my oldest had a very hard day emotionally. I am not sure when those girly hormones come into play but it seemed she had a great portion of them brewing. Oh if this is a glimpse of those PMS years we need to get a handle on it now if you know what I mean! As a feeler myself and one well aware of my emotions I feel for this child. She is me. A small me. Oh bless her soul. So, I am asking God to help me find balance so I can be a good example for her to give her a fighting chance. I desperately want her to know that we have victory and freedom over our emotions. They are not bad, they do make things more interesting, but they do not have to control us. Wow, what a lesson for me who greatly struggles.

So, about this depression-don't worry about me-I prayed that God would make me a woman of grace and truth. I am simply learning this through this valley. God is showing my what grace is. He is also showing me what the abundant life really is. It is not simply mountain top experiences. True joy from the Lord is deep in our being and not based on our circumstances. I am so thankful that the Lord loves me and trusts me enough to let me walk through these hard times. It is a joy to be molded more into His image despite how it "feels."

Love ya siesta's! If you have some time go over to my friend Stephanie's blog. She is writing posts on worship. They are so good. Well worth checking out. They will inspire you. I believe this year God has me focusing more on worship. God even lead me to a Bible by iworship that was leather bond at Lifeway for $14. It is a worship devotional Bible. It is also NLT version. I am excited because I think this will make things a little more fresh for me. I am an NIV girl at heart because I was raised on that thing. I love the other translations as well though. My church uses NKJ and my Precept courses use NASB. But the NLT will be a new and fresh look at the text. I am looking forward to it.

If you have made it this far on this post then the Lord bless you! Sometimes I just need to ramble these ponderings in my head. I am lifting a prayer for each of you today. May the Lord bless you and let you see things through His eyes. May you feel a great portion of His great love for you. He is so in love with you.


Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

Oh girl. I've been there. I do think that it's cool you're preparing to lead the Psalm study!! You'll have to tell me how it goes.

Praying for you!

Love you

Living Beyond said...

Thank you for being so real - I so relate to where you are right now. The emotional side of us is the best and the worst hey!!

I 110% know what you mean about having to minister regardless of how you feel and not just minister because of feelings.

I also 110% get what you mean about facilitating a bible study when you feel they way you do - oh sister do I ever understand.

And yes AMEN in our weakness HE is strong and gets the glory of it all.

My husband is the creative one in our family and so he deals alot with the heavy weight of emotions the highs are high and lows are low. I am praying that 2008 will be an easier year from him and I will pray for you the same.

I'm excited about your focus on worship - it's is often our sacrifice of praise that we offer up that is that good and pleasing aroma that delights your Father's heart.

You are an encouragement to me.

darla said...

ramble on Princess, I love when you do that!

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

You've expressed yourself wonderfully, Ang. I know the feeling, sometimes its easy to let those emotions get out of control. Like you I love the Psalms too, especially because David says it like it is, but always brings it back to the reality of the matter, God reigns. He is our stability in the good, the bad, and everything inbetween. Love you much!

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