Monday, January 7, 2008

Marriage Monday-Three Things Your Daughter Must Know


Today is Marriage Monday. See what others are saying at e-mom's blog and join in on the discussion.

Three things your daughter must know for marriage. This is so important to me because I did all things the wrong way. I can come up with many things to share but since we are going with three I will list the three most important things that made the biggest difference.

1-Do not be unequally yoked.
Because of not following this instruction from God's word my husband and I suffered much pain. It took ten years to really get our marriage to what God designed it to be. The husband was made to be the spiritual leader of the home. On one hand it has been amazing to see God's transforming power on a marriage and how He could take two messed up people and make them whole. That is amazing but the deep pain that we had to walk through, press through, and weep through was something that I would not want to wish on anyone. So, do things right the first time and it will save much pain and grief. Although God will restore those wasted years it would be better to not have wasted them at all.

Did I stress that enough? It is so important to talk things out with one another. Especially your feelings and the way you see things. Always remember your spouse cannot read your mind. You come from two very different backgrounds and upbringings. Just because my dad showed me or my mom love by doing certain things does not mean my husband will automatically do that too. Learn one another. Study one another. Never stop talking openly and honestly without nagging or accusation.

This should be first on the list really. It is so important to pray for your spouse. Pray that God gives you the proper perspective on things. Always remember you are one and your losses are his and your victories are his. You share everything and are one. You need proper perspective at all times in this. It is easy to think your spouse is your enemy. Remember you are on the same team. Only God can keep you fixed on the proper perspective.


Living Beyond said...

Excellent three posts - thank you!! I got messed up with my marriage post - you'll see if you pop over - I think dying my hair might have something to do with it!!

Btw scroll down to Saturdays post because I 'carded' you - I know I'm sorry ;)

e-Mom said...

Thank you for sharing your heart here, Angela. I had no idea you and your husband had so many years of hardship, due to being unequally yoked. God's in the business of mending the broken places in our lives. I'm thrilled he has done that for the two of you. However, I'm sorry for all your tears. :~(

Yes, communication and prayer are so important. And remembering that our spouse is not our enemy! Also, it's good to "study" one another. Sometimes my husband and I tease about having secret "dossiers" on each other. We're always observing the other one, scratching our heads, and then saying "vive la difference!"

Thanks for participating in Marriage Monday this month. I appreciate you, my friend!


Just Another Day In Paradise said...

What a great post. I absolutely agree with you on your 3 items. I know of some couples that didn't start out believing the same things. It can truly be so destructive. What a blessing that you can bear testiment to Gods healing mercies on your marriage.

Susan said...

This was great, and it looks like we had the same idea for starters!!

Blessings to you Angela!

Tami Boesiger said...

Yep, yep, yep. Good points, Angela.

Donetta said...

Great post girl! I enjoyed my visit via Chrysalis

Jan Parrish said...

Great insight. :) I also stress communication - so very vital. It's been a key to our 25 year marriage.

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

Awesome points here girl!

Love your willingness to admit that things were out of order, and to say look what God has done!

Love you!

Faith @ The Great Adventure said...

Very wise words!

Homemanager said...

Thank you for sharing both your pain and the wisdom that the Lord gave to you through it.
Blessings to you,

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

Great post and instruction. When you said, "Remember you are on the same team." That is something God has been teaching me the last so many years. I am competative by nature, so that "same team" mentality has to be the work of the Spirit, because it's not happening on its own!

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