Adoption - Not Completely

This journey is so incredibly hard. I am hearing and seeing things about life that this precious baby boy has been through and it is emotionally unbearable. I cannot put this suffering in another box like I could all the cases I had in social work. This is more real because I am making it part of my home. I cannot just get up and leave work. It is now a part of my 24/7 life. Emotionally this is too much to bear yet my Savior has taken it all on the cross for baby boy and for me. So hard to imagine. Just this piece of it that I cannot bear is only a small part Christ Himself bore on the cross.

I think of adoption, sometimes I just wish we could fully adopt him and keep him from that life forever. Yet we want his family to have a chance. We know our God is the God of redemption and if it is possible we want to see it happen. Yet we love this guy like crazy and the thought of giving him up one day is also unbearable.

However, we are reminded that even the biological children we are given are not our own. They really belong to God first. He has a plan for each of their lives. We must remember this and never hold on to any of them too tightly. We are charged to guard, protect, and train them in the instruction of the Lord but there is a time we are to let them go. We are never guaranteed a certain number of days. We must cherish each one we get with them. They are God's children and one day hopefully our friend.

This journey is teaching us a lot. We are better for being on it. It requires a lot of trust and prayer but that is how life is anyway, right? Christ does equip us for whatever He calls us to. So we will walk in that.

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Remind Me to Float

Have you ever been in the deep end of the pool, overestimating your strength then realize the length you have to go is much farther than you estimated? You can respond in several ways.

1-You can freak out and kick quickly wearing yourself out which makes things much worse.
2-You can cry and feel sorry for yourself and just give up, causing you to go under and drown.
3-You can decide that the situation is what it is and let go and just float. Eventually you will regain strength or maybe even coast over to the side in time.

These are the three choices I have been wavering with on our new journey. Unfortunately I am going under way more than I would like to admit. God is calling me to surrender and float. He has me under His wings, however again and again I try to do this in my strength. I try to make things look the way I want them. I want control and comfort. Yet really it is an illusion. I have no control of this situation just as it started. Sure I could have said no, but the Spirits conviction made it clear that in doing so would be sin. So I have to make the right choice, float.

Please excuse me for a while. Please pray for us. I will not be who I was, I hope this is a good thing but when you see me going under please remind me to float. Please don't let my raw honesty repel you. This is truth in life. We need it. We need to be vulnerable and honest in order to grow with one another. We need to encourage one another and be honest without fear. Christ was not afraid of raw honesty. In fact He is the only reason I am safe to be this way. He knows. He is acquainted with our every grief. He went to the cross for it. David poured out this type of honesty in prayers all through the Psalms.

So as you pray for me to let go and float, let me do the same for you. Where do you need prayer now? Where do you need to learn just to float?

LORD, my heart is not proud;

      my eyes are not haughty.
   I don’t concern myself with matters too great
      or too awesome for me to grasp.
  Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
      like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
      Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

  O Israel, put your hope in the LORD—
      now and always. ~Psalm 131

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Psalm 119 - Week Two

Beth (Second Letter of the Hebrew Alphabet) Second section of eight!
How is your memorization going? Ours is coming slowly but we are not giving up.

If any verses were good to memorize regarding wisdom these next are my favorite! It starts with a simple question that many need to know. How can you keep your way pure? If we are sinners naturally how can we keep ourselves pure? Well, this answers it. So let's follow this instruction with our lives.

Read verses 9-11.
Q-How can a young man keep his way pure?
A-By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

So based on these three verses let us ask some simple questions.
1-How does the verse tell us to keep our way pure?
2-How do you guard our way, by what standard?
3-How can we know the standard?
4-How should we seek His word? Wholeheartedly or half heartedly?
5-What does the Psalmist do with God's word?
6-Why does He do this?

This is one reason why I like the Awana program so much because they are teaching kids to store God's word in their heart. Even at the youngest ages. His word will never return void but it goes out to accomplish what is was purposed for (Isaiah 55:11)

¹² Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your statutes! 

This is another beautiful prayer of praise for God and a desire for Him to teach us. He wants us to know Him and His word. This is a prayer that is according to His will. Let's pray it for ourselves and one another.


¹³ With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. 

May this be! What a joy if we could declare all the rules of God.

¹⁴ In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. 

This is a prayer I often pray as well. I want to delight in God and His word more than anything my heart is drawn too.

¹⁵ I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.

When we really do love something it is what we think about. Meditation on His word is what we should be doing and in turn keeping our eyes fixed on it. It will bring most satisfaction.

¹⁶ I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.

Wherever you are now regarding God's word, may they be words we delight in because they are from our God. May we never forget them. They are the path of life.

Be sure to check the comments through out the week and add anything based on what other commenters in the community say. Let us take time to personally encourage one another.

Recaps on comments from last week:
Deborah said she loved the word of God and the power it has to set us free.
I love this from Patti "Verse 4 really stands out for me: "You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently." In light of this verse I see that holy walking should be so desirable to us, because God demands this. This is so the desire of my heart."
Judy encourages us to memorize these verses! I think this is a great idea too!
Sarah struggled with getting to it because of interruptions, hope you were able to glean something! :)
Liz shares and encouraging testimony from her marriage, go check it out if you missed it. 

I appreciate you all taking the time to really dig into this and share your lives. I pray His word will change us more into His image and that we will be able to memorize it!

How has this section encouraged you?
How has it challenged you?
Praying your week is blessed and you will delight in His word immensely!

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God's Hand in our Journey of Opening our Home

This whole journey we are on with this little guy is surreal. It has happened so fast and all along I have seen God's hand. God cares for the little children. He uses them as examples to teach us, He wants to spend time with them, God assigns angels to look directly after them. I think this is all significant. Children are a blessing we are told all through out the Bible. I see God's hand on this little guy.

First, I see him being protected. God has provided a safe stable home for him. I am thankful to be part of his story.

Second, I got well just a few weeks before we started praying about helping this little guy. I mean supernaturally well. Lyme disease is so tricky and this is the second time God just miraculously took it away from me.

Third, At court before we even met the parents we were given a court date for permanent custody. Before a "home study". We did not even go into the court room. They did not need us in there. This is the part that is supernatural. This is unheard of. I worked for several years in the juvenile court system. I have not seen this kind of thing happen and this fast.

Fourth, As we left the courthouse God produced the most magnificent full bow of a rainbow across the highway. It was a frigid, flurry like, dark cloudy day. This rainbow was a sign I will never forget. The Lord is my Banner. He is pleased with this whole situation.

Fifth, Little man has adjusted so very well. This is a miracle in itself. Often there are attachment issues that come in these situations. Yet he has attached supernaturally well. This is only by the hand of God.

Sixth, God is exposing in my own heart how selfish I am. This is coming to the surface. I now have all special needs children. Working with an emotionally sensitive gifted child, asperger child, and speech delayed/at risk child seems overwhelming but God has given me supernatural strength and peace. It is really a joy in my heart to teach them all at the places they have needs. Yet at times I want to escape! God is allowing me to run to Him. He is providing insight and strength. He must be my wisdom and strength in this.

Seventh, I did not think I could love someone the way I do this child because I did not birth him but God is providing supernatural love. I am amazed at how full my heart is in this.

Eighth, My children are displaying such fruit of the Spirit as we adjust to a little man in our home who likes to get into everything. He had no boundaries so it is a slow process of teaching. But their hearts are like gold in it. I see evidence of their walking in the Spirit. It is a blessing to this mother's heart. In fact in all honesty I am seeing my entire family surpass me in faith and maturity.

Overall this story God is writing in our lives at this time is amazing because it is not of our doing but the work of God. I love seeing His hand all over things. I yearn for it and I am so blessed to be able to see it so clearly at this time. That is grace.

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More Pinterest and a Yummy Creation gluten and dairy free

This is a try I found which I really like. My daughter with sensory food issues would not try it because she saw me prepare it and had an issue with it being coated in Corn Flakes. However, it was really good. Here is a pic of mine.

Of course my camera is not as good as the professionals but I really liked this and it was not too terrible to make seeing how I will remind you that I do not like cooking. These are also gluten and dairy free.

Source: fitnessmagazine.com via Angela on Pinterest

I wanted a side to pair with it so here is my new try. It was really yummy and gluten and dairy free.

This is squash casserole. Many of the recipes I found required a cream of chicken soup or sour cream. However I did not want that in mine.

This is the recipe.
1 and 1/2 green squash
Half of an onion
12 gluten free crackers
1/2 cup milk (use the dairy free kind) beaten with one egg
1/2 cup grated cheese. I used the dairy free shredded.
1/2 cup of rice (added a mixture of brown and white)
Salt and pepper as desired
Butter melted. The butter is optional.

I started by cutting the squash up in small pieces along with the onion and steamed them for 20 minutes.

Also while you are doing that you can cook the rice you will add. I do mine in the microwave.

Then when rice and squash/onions are done put them in casserole dish and mix in 6 crackers, milk with egg mixture, and cheese.

Crumble the remaining crackers on top. I melted some butter and poured on top of the crackers.

Bake at 350 for an hour.

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Psalm 119 ~ Week One

I am so excited about our journey together through this Psalm! This Psalm is divided into 22 sections. Each section is preceded by a letter of the Hebrew alphabet and includes 8 verses. Each week we will look at a section. Because of that this will take us 22 weeks. But do not let that scare you. We will really learn to love Scripture with our whole hearts as we study and pray this Psalm for one another.

However let us not lose site of seeing Christ, the Word who came in the flesh. We do not worship the Bible but the author who spoke it. Derek Kidner said this, "This untiring emphasis has led some to accuse the psalmist of worshiping the Word rather than the Lord; but it has been well remarked that every reference here to Scripture, without exception, relates it explicitly to its Author; indeed, every verse from 4 to the end is a prayer for affirmation addressed to Him. This is true piety: a love of God not desiccated by study but refreshed, informed and nourished by it.” Derek Kidner

That is what I hope we get out of studying this, to be refreshed, informed, and nourished by God's word to us. Of course just studying the word and getting fat is not enough. We must take it and let it change us by doing what it says as God works it in our heart. As we do we honor God and are blessed.  

This study can be at your personal level of commitment that you are comfortable with. Some weeks you may have more time then others. Answer the questions you can. Come back in the comment section and interact with others posting. This is a great way to build fellowship and grow together. Another thing to enhance the study is trying to memorize it this Psalm. My girls and I are going to try to memorize this Psalm. Many have in the past and found it a blessing in doing so according to a commentary on Enduring Word Media. We are simply pondering and memorizing one verse a day. Because there are eight verses we will have to double that up once a week.


So let's dig into the Word! I will probably be referencing the ESV translation. If I vary I will note that. 
I will go verse by verse and write up some things about it and ask questions. Answer as you go and study.


Psalm 119:1-8
Alef א (First letter of the Hebrew Alphabet)
"Blessed are those whose way is blameless who walk in the law of the LORD!"


Blessed means Happy or Blessed. When we are truly wanting to be happy this verse tells you the way. Many try many things in order to be happy but walking in His ways are best. They bring you peace and joy.

The word for way here means a path or journey. We are fellow sojourners on this earth, aliens and strangers waiting for our Heavenly homes. Our real home is in Heaven. As we walk our journeys here together His word is instruction on how to walk.

1-Give an example telling of how you have been blessed by following God's way instead of your own?

Being blameless means keeping ourselves from willful sins. Psalm 19:13 says it this way, "Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression."

Walking in the way of the Lord (Jehovah) refers to walking in His laws. Following His commands.

2-Give an example that you have been blessed by following God's way instead of your own?

3-Do you have any sins in your life that are ruling your life? You must get rid of them. Habitual sin is a dangerous cycle. Please talk to someone about it. You miss out on this blessedness when you are stuck in intentional sins. This is a place you can share a personal testimony if you wish.

4-In what ways of walking out life God's way is your biggest challenge now? How can we lift you up in prayer?

"Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart,"

This verse is referring to the counsel of the word. Back in the day it was the first five books of the Bible. But now we have the entire book. You are also blessed if you keep God's laws written in His word. This is not a legalistic thing, it is truly joyful when you obey the law of the Lord with all your heart. When you do this you are just drawn to Him, you obey because of your love for Him and are secure in His great love for you. Our hearts cannot be divided here. God deserves our all.

5-What is one way you can give your whole heart to God? Maybe it could be in an area you have been holding back?

"who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!"

When you really love God you want to please Him. It is not following man made rules but His holy laws. Though we come with faults and quirks we will seek to please the Lord and not sin intentionally. Of course we do fail in many ways and along the way it is good to remember the cross. Jesus took all our sin, past, present and future. We are clean in Him. So when we do mess up there is grace when we come to Him. However, we are greatly blessed when we say no to sin and walk in His ways.

If we were capable of following the whole law without stumbling a bit we would be without sin, however because we are flesh and do stumble we must be thankful for Jesus. He released our chains of sin that gripped us and has given us a way to say no to sin.  

"You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently."

God desires that we keep His commands and diligently. If we have made a new year diet plan or workout regimen then we are diligent to keep it. We must sacrifice and do things that are not always convenient. This is the same with keeping God's law we must do it diligently and at times it will not be easy or comfortable but we must determine to do it.


6-Give an example of a time you  or someone else you know followed God's commands even though it was not easy.


"Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes!"

I love this verse because it is telling us to be firm or fixed in keeping God's law. It is a prayer that we all should pray. That our hearts desire to keep His statues.


7-This would be a good prayer to pray for yourself. Have you ever considered this?

"Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments."

When we obey Him and His commands we cannot be filled with shame. That is freedom. Yet it can only be fully obtained through Christ who is the only one who was without sin. When we receive Him we exchange our lack of righteousness for His. That is the amazing thing about the cross!

8-Have you received Him and what He has done?

"I will praise you with an upright heart,when I learn your righteous rules."

When we truly learn to follow God's law we learn to love it and praise Him for it and the great protection it provides!

"I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me!"

God promises us that He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) though there are times it may feel this way. He is faithful! We should make it every aim of our own to be faithful in return! He who works in our hearts is faithful! Trust in Him.

9-Did any verse in particular stand out to you in these 8 verses? If so share it. The Spirit will quicken us differently as we read His alive and active word. It will speak to us personally and be an avenue that works change in us.

Lord, may our ways be steadfast in keeping your law, may we learn to love it and thrive in it.


 

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Gift Card Winner

The winner of the Amazon Gift card for themselves and a friend is JenMom! Congrats! My daughter Kaitlyn read all the stories and picked the winner. It was hard for her to choose because you all had great hearts. Thanks for participating and keep an eye open for the next contest next month!

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