She learned many people do not like to approach suffering. She understood. She was not present all too often. She was driven out of the camp after all she was unclean. She could hardly walk. She was barely in her right mind. How or why would anyone want to be around her? But she craved the community. She wondered where were they?
However the Son of the King came and when He came He abolished the need for others to stay away from suffering of others. In fact He taught others to enter into it. No longer did others have to be cast away from the camp. There was no longer anyone deemed unclean if they were in HIM. Yet so many did not yet believe this. I guess that was the problem. She wondered how did she communicate this? How would people know?
Then the King came to her. She fell to her face. How in the world would the King come to a lowly, unclean, cast out peasant. She was so unworthy. So sinful. Yet He gently lifted her head. He took her chin and lifted it up until their eyes met. Immediately tears filled her eyes. Why was He with her?
He had some things to tell her. Some things she needed to know. Some things that can be said and others that are far too intimate. It would not help you to know because this King is a personal God. He has things to show each of His but they are personal. They speak to the heart of those who are HIS. No one else can understand those kind of intimate things. However, the things He shared that are open are below.
First He told her, "My dear precious child, do not forget ever who you are. You are my child which makes you a princess. You are part of the royal court and no one can ever cast you out. You are completely secure in me. You bare my Name and you are My representative to the world."
But she barely uttered, "oh King, I am so weak. I am unclean. How can I be any of this? I will only fail you. I am afraid."
He replied gently and firmly, "My child I have chosen you before the beginning of time to be Mine. I have a perfect plan. Your life and your circumstances are not a mistake. All things are part of making you more beautiful than you already are. I am making you more like me."
He went on in His unexplainable kindness like none she has ever experienced, "You see you started out a very prideful and independent girl. Not uncommon to those who live in your land. They think they can do things for themselves. They get a thrill out of it. They are too arrogant to accept help. They are strong and they despise weakness. You were trudging down that path. I watched. I was at a distance because I oppose the proud yet I still loved you. Something had to be done. As I wooed you and you responded I answered your prayer to do whatever I had to to make you a reflection of me. It is still in process. I heard you ask to completely kill who you were yet your personality and your make up is who I created you to be, I am not looking for a robot. I created you with a wonderfully complex make up that is part of this plan in time and history. But I will continue to sand and burn off the impurities of you until my reflection is completed."
She was stunned, "How can you let someone hurt like that and remain so alone?"
"My child, I have never left you. I am near the broken hearted. I live with the lowly in spirit. You just have to open your eyes to really see me. I never let the fire get too hot for you to bare. Never. You have to trust this. You have a special place in this suffering. You will really never know the deep affects of it are more far reaching than you can understand. You must just trust This my child is the place of true and deep love that is mature."
Sadly she said, "Will I ever be able to re enter community?"
"Yes that is my plan for you. You are clean in Him. The kingdom you belong to is to minister to you as you have ministered to it. The problem is that often times people get too busy and lose that others focus. They forget others need things especially those in your particular situation. Uncleanliness in their eyes is too messy and they like to not be reminded of it. Remember how people pride themselves on being strong and taking one look at you makes them think of things being of the contrary. So rejoin. Work in the strength I will give you. Love well. Remember Judas was appointed to the twelve with Jesus and he was not of the kingdom. So it is in your kingdom. The wheat and weeds grow together. You will not know all the time who is who but you still must just love. I have given you a gift. You can now see needs that others would not. Your eyes have now been opened. Go love well, be my representative. Reflect me well. Love out of the love that you receive from me."
Still a bit confused she replied, "But how? How have my eyes been open? How have I been given a gift?"
He continued, "I am in control of all things. I have allowed you a constant weakness that no one can really see but me. I know your constant sacrifice in all things that you do. I see this. I take note. Others will not appreciate it. They cannot see. I will strengthen you to do the things I have prepared in advance for you. But you must only do those things. Your strength is limited and can only be drawn on me. In this weakness you get to personally see my power at work in an intimate way. Most miss this. You have compassion you lacked so long ago. You love stronger and better. You have passion for the weak. That is what I want from my children. Help others see. I will open eyes. Keep doing as I lead you. You are my chosen instrument.
You have been given the gift of a disabled child. Again, in a way no one else can understand or see clearly. But it gives you and your family a great compassion for others in similar situations. It helps you know how to pray and serve them. Even in your little strength you can educate others who are strong to do it. I have given you another child another gift with other issues. She is a gifted child, alot like you, again one that many cannot understand. These two together though their thinking and brains are completely different will make them into better people. It is not a mistake. You just do as I say and trust."
About to burst she blurted, "Oh but dear Father, I can barely stand it, why must I stay here. Why can I not come with you?"
Patiently He spoke, "You must stay to serve. I have given you a task to speak on behalf of those who are weak. Represent me well to them. Help them see me in it. Help them know they are chosen for a hard but beautiful task. Greater things are accomplished through it. Help them know to be patient because all will reveal itself in due time. I will come back for you. There is a time but it is not now. Keep your eyes on me child. Rejoin your community and live in your weakness. I will help you. I delight in you and love you. Don't give up. I will never leave or forsake you. You are my child. Go. Do what I have said. Trust."
After that and many other words were exchanged the King left. And off the princess left stronger than before in Him. Thus thwarting the plan the enemy had as he lurked hoping to use these things to destroy what belonged to the King. Now though as she went she was not well in physical body but much better in spirit for He was with her always. She headed in. They welcomed her though they did not understand. She loved still and served them. They did in return for this is covenant relationship. This is what community is to look like. Not perfect but intentional. They learned this together even with weeds among them. The weeds too had their purpose. Yet whatever happens covenant sticks together. Kingdom life is messy but is necessary. It is what the King desires for us and what makes us more like Him. This can only be accomplished together.
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