The Fine Line - I Chose Him

There is a fine line that appears at times in our lives. It is a time of decision. It is a time that can have drastic results. We are all prone to wander as the old hymn states. We know when and we can indeed feel it. Unfortunately many of us are not willing to honestly live being aware of this. We like things comfortable (which is an idol). However, we must be evaluating our hearts. The Bible calls this guarding them.

What road do I take? The question lies in front of us more than we may think. There are simple everyday choices that can easily lead us astray. But when we are more vulnerable these choices can be more drastic. It is a temptation to chose something in our lives that makes us comfortable, approved, or in control yet steer us away from God. These decisions are based on love for something. Either love for idols or love for HIM. We chose one thing or the other.

Today was a really hard day. The air touching my skin hurt. Can you imagine the very air the Creator made to give us life hurting you? Then the rain came down and it felt like knives cutting my skin. Can you even wrap your mind around what that would feel like? Then I had to get two teeth filled with cavities. One of them would not numb. Flat out not receiving the message to numb. There is so much pain in life that at times I want to numb out. I know that is why people get into drugs, alcohol, affairs, overeating, or whatever your choice sin may be. It is much easier to take the painful things of life while numbed out. I would never say I am above falling at anytime. I am a mere human and weak. I could easily fall. However one thing keeps me above water and it is HIS love for me.

My tooth would not numb out and that is what I want for my life. I want to be present. I got three shots then some harder core med that is not used unless they are desperate and through all of that I could still feel it. I had to endure the very present pain. Yet they looked and there was no seen explanation for it. Well, I know it is because my body is weird right now and there is no telling what Lyme can do. It is sad when the specialists have no idea. Honestly I am tired of dealing with all the complications that come with these health challenges. It is hard to live and do what is required and be like this. A time that would be easier numb.

On my drive home I battled very scary thoughts that would end my pain, at least temporary. Desperate times can be dark and scary. Thoughts kept running through my head about things I could run too.

However, He was ever present. He was there,He is not afraid of my pain, my raw honesty. He is near the broken. He brought my thoughts back to HIM and no matter what He will get me through this present trial. So my choice, I chose HIM. What keeps me from running to sin? My love for HIM. My love for Him comes because I know His great love for me.