Saturday, October 4, 2008

Quirks and Love

As a parent we cannot help but to desire the best things for our children, it is built into us. We want so much more for them than we ever had. But what do you do when your child has a disorder that makes life difficult? How can you give them that same quality of life?

I have learned so much from my precious baby. I am still in the elementary school of my studies but God started preparing me beforehand for this precious gift.

My heart was drawn to the study of psychology. I was fascinated with the mind and how it worked. I was interested in child psychology. I could not get enough of it. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. It fascinated me in a new way.

After graduation I ended up working at a children's home with children with some of these behavioral issues. It was great hands on experience. I got to see first hand that the only true help for any one was Christ. Everything else was just a temporary fix.

Moving forward a decade, God chose a precious child to entrust us to raise up for Him. I consider this a great privilege. Though things were not easy from the very beginning. She is sweet, friendly, bright, and beautiful child. Yet with all of these qualities there was something that was not quite "right." I could not really put my finger on it but a mother knows. Deep down I knew something was not right but I prayed that it would go away.

Today was a tough day with our child. She has good days and bad days. Today was a particular difficult day. These days are rare. It is hard to know what is best for her on these days. It is hard to know what works. It is easy to feel like a failure of a parent. It is easy to feel discouraged. But I hang on to the hope that God knew what He was doing. He gave us the perfect child and He is teaching us all things.

What is exactly wrong at this point we are not completely sure. The doctor gave a few suggestions of disorders. He confirmed her behavior is outside the "normal" functioning range. He confirmed that that what we are doing with her is exactly right. He also confirmed that home schooling her is the best option for this time. God knew. God had me prepared for this precious child. He has great plans for her. We are working it through together as a family.

The best lesson I have learned and continue to learn through it is love covers. If I just pour love in her no matter what the situation looks like it covers the sin, the bad behavior, the obsessive thoughts, and the misunderstandings. Love softens the heart. Hers and mine. Loving the unlovable breaks through the barriers. This is loving like Christ. This is how Christ loved me to draw me to Him. This is what true love looks like and I am blessed to get a chance to sit in the classroom of life in this crash course.


Kim S in SC said...

Beautiful lesson to love at all times! Thanks for sharing this with us. Praying with you as you discover what HE already knows. Praising Him for all the preparation that took place!

Leah said...

How touched I am by this very honest and vulnerable post!! God bless you hugely dear one, God bless you!


ocean mommy said...

She is so blessed to have a Mommy and Daddy who are willing to do whatever it takes. You know, up to this point, I had not even thought about how God used your "pre-mommy" years (education, job) to prepare you for THIS TIME!! I think it's just one more piece of evidence of God's hand being in every little detail of our life!!!

I'm praying for you and Tony. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!


Cheri said...

Oh friend- you have just ministered to me this morning!
When you read my post you'll understand why!!
Thanks for posting that.

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