You know when I found this topic , Is Divorce Ever Right?, had the most votes I was not very excited. I did not vote for this topic and do not have much input on it really. All I have to offer is my story.
I found Miracle Monday also so I am posting for this as well. This story is evidence of God's miracle in our life. For more Miracle Monday go here.
In the very beginning of marriage, even on the wedding day, I had thoughts of getting out. When the pressure became too much for me I was determined to search and find the escape clause. I knew their had to be one so that just in case I could run away. Running is something that had become a pattern for me. When things would get tough I would just run from them. Marriage was not going to be any exception to this rule.
There was a friend, my best friend of all time, in school. He was so great to hang out with. He was a "buddy." But on my wedding day he did not show up. It crushed my spirits deeply. The pain ran so completely deep. Well, like any crazy love story, I find out that he had feelings for me. Instead of running from this, I decided to use it to my advantage. You see my husband was very possessive at the time and did not meet my emotional needs. On the other hand I knew my friend would. It was no problem for me really. There was no physical relationship I reasoned. But he did have part of my heart.
Jesus said that if a man looks at a woman lustfully in his heart he has committed adultery. So shouldn't it be the same if a woman gives her heart away to another man. That is emotional adultery. So if adultery is a reason that one can get divorce it seems that what I did was the same thing. I committed adultery of the heart. But wait, it was me who was the guilty party. So I was the one in the wrong. My life was all about me. I did not want it to be my fault.
God used this unfortunate situation to wake me up. The escape clause I was looking for was not suppose to be for my husband. I was a sinner. I was the one in the wrong. That devastated me. At this time my husband was not a believer and I was suppose to be. If he walked away it would have been fine(Biblically) but he agreed to work it out. I confessed and we moved forward. It would be a few years later that God really grabbed hold of my heart to abandon all to Him. My husband took note of the change in me and knew he wanted to be different too. He then accepted Christ. A true miracle indeed.
To see what others are saying go to Marriage Monday.
24 comments:
Angela,
What a difficult thing to post about.
God really used this situation to work in your husbands heart. From what you've written before- God has truly blessed your marriage even through the trials.
What a powerful post. I think a lot of people think if it's not physical then it's not adultery... but that is incorrect thinking. This is such a controversial subject. Thank you for sharing on it. My sister has recently gone through a divorce that took over 3 years to complete. I hope she will find encouraging words through some of these posts.
Angela,
That takes courage to share and I'm so glad that you did. I'm sure that many married couples will be blessed by it! And, others too - it shows how dangerous leaning and depending on ourselves can be when our hearts and everything about us should rest completely with the Lord.
Love ya,
Sanya
It is so easy to look for the "escape clause" rather than walk the path of repentence and discipleship. Thank you for sharing your story of restoration. Bless you.
Angela, I think that it's great that you "owned up" to your sin. THANKS for sharing your story. The Bible says, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives" -1 Peter 3:1
GOD has PROVEN HIMSELF true in your marriage. I PRAISE HIM that your husband found Christ! =-)
Whoa, what a story Angela! So true what Jesus says about our hearts and minds. It's adultery whether we act on those thoughts or not. (Matt. 5:27,28) The consequences however if a person acts can be even further reaching. I've seen this first hand with even Christian couples, some within my extended family and some friends.
Now here's the deal. I may not get the popular vote on this one. You asked the question, is divorce ever right?
I understand that there are husbands who run off on their wives or wives who run off on their husbands. One of my best friends, her husband ran off with another woman. My friend and her husband eventually divorced, not by my friend's choice, she tried for a long time to reconcile, but because he would not and forced the divorce.
Biblical grounds - adultery - right? (Matt. 5, Mk. 10, Lk. 16, Rom. 7, I Cor. 7)
Okay, let me take this the next step. I know you didn't go there in your post, but if I may, I will in my comment. I feel a great burden to share this even though I may create some enemies. But I'd rather stay true to God's Word than have many friends. One of these days I'll post on this subject of divorce and re-marriage on my blog, no matter what the cost.
I think people forget the second half of what Jesus says about divorce.
Matt. 5:32, in the last part of the verse Jesus says, "and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Matt. 19:9, in the last part of the verse Jesus says, "and whosoever marrieth her who is put away doth commit adultery."
Mark 10:11,12 "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
And if that doesn't make it clear about the subject of divorce and remarriage, then Romans 7:3 should. "So, then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law..."
I Cor. 7:10,11 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband; But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband; and let not the husband put away his wife."
So here's the kicker, where does that leave my dear friend who loves the Lord Jesus with all her heart? Unmarried. After her husband left her nearly twelve years or so, she has not married again. Has she had people interested in her? Yes. But she is choosing to obey the Lord, even though the break-up of the marriage is not her fault. That is hard. It is a hard thing, but God is giving her the strength and blessing in her life in a mighty way.
I will kindly release your blog back to you :) I think my comment is longer than your post (smile).
What Jesus calls us to do in real life is not easy. Each of us has our own cross to bear, but the Lord's yoke is easy. He carries those burdens for us when we release them to Him.
Much love,
Susan
Thank you for a well written post. Your openness is a gift to many.
Thank you for sharing such a personal post. God can change our hearts and open our eyes and that truly is a miracle!
Thank you for sharing your story. Your honesty is to be admired. You did good girl ;)
Angela - you are very brave for posting this personal subject. And, I commend your faith and spirit for doing what you ultimately chose to do - your husband is now a man of God and your faith and convictions had something to do with it! Blessings!
thanks for your honesty. I had a hard time with this post as well for similar reasons!
A wonderful example from your personal experience - thank you for sharing what I'm sure was not easy to talk about. God bless you!
thanks for sharing!!!and for being so very open!!!
Angela: I am so happy to see your honesty and openness here. Real is real and there is not enough of it in the Body of Christ sometimes. I pray that your testimony will help others as they contemplate divorce. Praise Him for making the "blind" see! Thank you again! Blessings!
Thanks for sharing this, be blessed.
Wow! What a powerful story! What a perfect example of how God can take something that is less than ideal and turn it into His glory.
I felt the same way about blogging on this topic. I almost didn't. But I'm glad I did and got to read your post as a result.
Have a great day!!
Wow. I love the story about how your marriage was healed. I think emotional affairs are very common and can be nearly as devastating as real ones.
Your right, this is a difficult subject and many pastors are afraid to touch it.
This is a powerful testimony. Your honest confession and vulnerability speaks volumes, Angela. Thanks for sharing your story, for not running away/divorcing, and for getting right with God. Your husband will spend eternity with you as a result. :~D
And thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today. (((Hugs)) e-Mom
thanks for sharing your testimony in such a transparent way. God will truly continue to bless you.
God truly does work in mysterious ways, but he seems to get his point across. I am so glad that this was a turning point for you. I am also glad you had the courage to write this. All of us sin and these stories really make me feel like I am not the only one. I am glad you posted this and I believe many will take a lot away from this post. A lot of learning that is.
Thanks for opening up to us about this! I am glad you persevered and that God, in His faithfulness, is using you in powerful ways.
what a powerful story! i think we all (or maybe it's just me) have feelings of doubt at one time or another during our marriages. in my case, we went about our relationship the wrong way from the start...we met, i got pregnant 6 mos later, and married after our son was 9 mos. i was not raised in any type of faith, and my hubby brought me into our catholic faith. God healed me by sending this man to show me the way.
sorry this was so long! thank you so much for your comment and prayers for my nephew!
As a Christian whose husband left (and who was/is a non-believer), I have struggled many times with the "judgment" of the church on divorce. I was quite devastated to be in the position where divorce was even a possibility, and it hurt all the more to have my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ crucify me for a position I could not control. I did not want my husband to leave. I did not want to raise our three children alone. However, I could not force the other party to seek counseling or to stay.
I do believe that there are different types of adultery--and emotional is as bad as physical--both of which I experienced in my first marriage. I am grateful for forgiveness and confident that my experience and God's grace has led me to the marriage of a lifetime God had in mind for me from the beginning.
BTW, I stopped by after reading one of your posts on Lysa TerKeurst's blog...
Bless you!!! I love you so much lady - you are the real thing - and I love you for it. So glad God showed He was in total control and still is in control!!
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