Monday, July 2, 2012

When You Have Two Moms

This journey has been the most difficult yet most rewarding of my life. Life with little guy is truly an adventure. He is such a joy! Children are gifts, a heritage from the Lord! Yet why do we treat them differently? Why do we not give them the two parent home (one male and one female) that they deserve? They need this environment of love and respect that only a stable home can bring.

Marriage is suppose to represent Christ and the church to the world. Each person gets to play the Jesus role of masculinity servant leadership and femininity submission. It is a beautiful thing if lived out the way God intended. The unfortunate thing is that we are in a sin stricken world where people like to be right in their own eyes instead of being concerned about the rightness of the Holy Scriptures.

With that said, our little man has two mothers in his life. His biological mother who was deemed neglectful and his legal mother who is baffled at how this is suppose to work out. As I stated in an earlier post I did not want to like her but God has moved my heart otherwise. I am building a relationship with her trying to encourage her to do the things she is suppose to do. It is a tough kind of love but necessary for her sake and the sake of her sons. She is made in the image of God just like me and her sons.

You see adoption is final. He would be ours completely, he would wear our name, it would be complete forever. But right now we only have legal custody which is not final, I guess it is like a marriage proposal which can be broken before the final wedding day, yet after the wedding day it is final. Christ adopts us like this, once we are His there is no changing that. Yet living in limbo, lacking permanence, is hard for everyone.

When you are secure in Christ and know you can believe every promise, know you have a wonderful inheritance, know He will never let you go, know He delights so much in you that He went all the way to the cross and back for you. That security is amazing, adoption complete. Yet for those in limbo, those who cannot feel this stability and permanency, life is unpredictable. It is confusing and they remain searching for something that will bring this stability.

The first couple of months I found myself stewing in anger at the horrible conditions these children were reported to be in. Taking it further I was angry that he was kept confined to the playpen or car seat all day long. The living conditions were not clean and the location is a known hub for prostitution. So maybe I should be grateful he was confined to atleast the security of a room instead of that hard environment day in and day out.

My anger came from the lack of protection, the lack of fight for making a suitable home for these children. The complacency of selfishness and laziness. Then here lately she said she hoped that we did not think they were bad people. It confronted me and my own heart. No I don't think they are bad just mislead and lacking skills. We all are bad really apart from the saving grace of Christ. The need for Christ is the great equalizer. Whatever class, culture, sex we are we are all desperate for Christ to save us from our sin.

He came, He beat sin on our behalf then exchanged His righteousness for our sin. There was nothing we could do to earn it. It is a gift of grace. I am amazed by this. I want to shine the light of the gospel to the other mom. Thus far we have not been together in the same place with little man at the same time. However, we were invited to come to the next visit. All of us, that means my girls too. I wonder what God can do with this, two moms who hopefully desire the best for this little guy. Two moms who hopefully can see their need for Christ. Two moms who can humble themselves and admit their wrong doings and needs.

This also makes me sad on one last point,do you realize that your children are a gift? Do you delight in them? Do you give them a sense of stability? Do you chose selfishness and laziness over them? This summer time is a great opportunity to be what they need instead of sending them off wherever you can find to keep them away from you. Do you realize how many want children but cannot have them? Or how many orphans are in the world craving parents? Don't make your own crave like orphans because of your lack? Or do you know how many wicked people are out there just wanting to take advantage of them? Parents please see them as the gift they are and take the time to die to yourselves to delight in them. Show them the love of the Father. That love that the Father has freely lavished on you. Please for the sake of a generation, these are image bearers of our great God. Do not let them fall in the cracks.

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