Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Complicated Migraine


Life with complicated migraine can be very unpredictable. It is life that limits you from living to your full capacity. I live with these things weekly. It does not make life very easy at all. If you have good health please be thankful for it and do not take it for granted. At any moment I can lose some of my vision, have incapacitating head pain that makes it really hard for me to think, lose my balance, or just be "off".

Since this can happen at any minute life is hard. There so far is no specific reason for these episodes. I journal food, external circumstances, times of the month. It is very random. Anything like a certain smell, too much sunlight, flashing lights, or stress can set a migraine in motion for me. The question is will it be the one that comes with the head pain or not? I have learned to live with the clumsiness, numbness, and visual disturbances. These things your body learns to adjust to because you have to live. But I am not able to adjust to the pain yet. With these I have to get into a dark room with little noise and pray it will run its course.

There are many medications you can take for these. Unfortunately I find myself allergic to the mainstream meds. Others work minimally. Preventatives work minimally thus far as well. So where is my hope? I know the Lord made me. He is perfect. We live in a fallen world where sickness lives. If God allows these things into my life then I need to accept it as something He allows for my bettering. I pray they make me more like Him. I yearn for Heaven more than ever. I still hold to the hope of them resolving or disappearing. Various times in life they have come and gone. Oh how I wish I appreciated the days when they were minimal. Those days will come again.

How does that work with my commitment to treat my body better? Well, I still house the Spirit of God in me. I mentioned how it would be a fight to try to better my body. I had five great days of eating and regular exercise then sickness hit me again. So since then I have not been able to exercise. I have eaten too much out of self pity. I have forgiven myself and started doing better again. I need to find balance in this and realize things will be harder because of this. But I am still on the journey. God knows my heart. He will get me through this season and I can do all things through Him! :)

What in life do you struggle with?


DOakley said...

My struggle isn't medical. I struggle with house cleaning--incomplete jobs--which is very contradictory to my OCD-type nature.

I work from home. When I decided to work from home I thought I would have more time to spend with my family and more time to keep the house tidy. I have found that not to be the case. The times I would have spent commuting when I was working outside the home, I now spend either sleeping because I was up late working, or working.

My house is in a perpetual state of clutter and it's something I don't really want my sons to think is normal.

I stopped housecleaning almost 10 years ago because I found it too difficult to keep up with two people that were inherently disorganized and untidy--plus I was working outside the home. When I finally decided I wanted to be able to invite people over I decided to start cleaning again. The retraining is still happening.

I also struggle with balancing working and being with my family. My one-year-old has spent the vast majority of this past year in some sort of "restraint"--play pen, rocker, Jumperoo--something that keeps him entertained while I work. We haven't gone for walks, the only times I get to hold him for any period of time is between my office and bed or my office and meals.

I cherish the times I do have because I know this time will never come again. Still, I know I should be doing more, but I wonder how much more can I add to my plate?

Kay Martin said...

Migraines can be so hard. My children have them as did my husband. Unless people experience them or have close family with them they have no clue what you go through.

Understanding how you manage life with these is beyond me. But God will be with you and yours. Know I'm praying.

Sisterlisa said...

I struggle with my time. I understand about migraines I used to get them too. :O(

Christina said...

I'm so sorry to read this. I am praying for you that you feel better and these awful migraines go away. I have problems with my ears and sometimes have loud sounds from them and then they ache. They are never sure where this comes from since all my tests are negative, but it can be annoying and painful. I too have accepted this, but I know how you feel. I think having a condition that is random is difficult because you never know what the day will bring. In fact there are times when all i can do is go to bed and lay on my heating pad. not that it works, but i try to convince myself it does.

Leah said...


I am so sorry about your migraines. I know they are debilitating and incapacitating. I'm sure you have tried all the usual meds. Please know that you will be in my prayers.


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