Feeling Like a Failure

Oh boy has it been a hard month. I am feeling like a failure all around. I am failing at being a good wife, a good mom, a good daughter, a good friend, a good teacher, and a good ministry leader. Failing all around.

That is atleast what my feelings are telling me. That is how I "feel." I hate that because the truth tells me that I am not a failure. Feelings are good. They are God-given. They are needed or He would not have given them to us. I am realizing too that some of us feel things more deeply than others. This would be the case for me. This is a blessing and a curse. God made me perfect this way for His glory and perfect plan. I rejoice in this yet these pesky feelings continually trip me up and get in the way.

Sometimes I just wish I was numb. I plead for God to take them away. I completely understand how someone can be addicted to substances for numbing purposes. This would be the easy way out for sure. Yet God has given us a way to rise above without a numbing agent. He has given Himself to us. He has given His word to us. His truth, His life, His death, His victory--all ours in Him. I cannot imagine life without Him.

I feel such compassion for those who do not know Him. How in the world would it even be possible to get up in times like this? I have the hope of Christ. My joy is in His promises to us. Specifically this one:

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

In verse 10, the word for delight in the original language means, "think it good, choose, determine." So the verse is saying that I will choose to or determine myself to think it good in my weakness, in insults, in hardships, persecutions, and difficulties. When we are weak God is strong.

So really our weakness is a strength because it is only then God can be His strongest. In these times I know I am desperate for Him. It is an honor and blessing to be in this place. So if you are here too, hold tight to Him. He will never let you go. He will be strong in every area you feel weak. So with that said, I declare that
I am a good wife in HIM
I am a good mother in HIM
I am a good daughter in HIM
I am a good friend in HIM
I am a good ministry leader in HIM
I am not a failure, I am a victor in HIM. I am strong in HIM. I delight in my weakness because it is only then that Christ's power rests on me. Amen?!

In what areas are you feeling weary this week? I would love to pray for you. Please let me know.