Ants, Dizziness, and Pride--Oh My!

Little did we know exactly what we were getting into when we left on our adventure. God had so much in store for each of us. I praise God for how personal He really is. God speaks to us exactly at the place we are. He restores, heals, and encourages. I saw Him in so many different ways this weekend and feel so unworthy. He overwhelms me to tears.

On our way up to Charlotte, NC we started our trip with Starbucks. This is my love language (and the ladies I was with) so it was a great start. On the ride up we had great conversation about God and what He was doing in each of our lives and ministries. One topic that came up was pride. Pride is a very tricky thing. It comes in two forms. One is the puffed up--it is all about me and the other is insecurity--it is all about me. Pride is taking your focus off of God--period. It shows up in each of us in different ways but God was preparing us to have humility worked into our very lives this weekend. Our expectations of this conference were conflicted. We knew there were going to be about 400 women at the conference. Most of these women have the call of writing or speaking on their lives. How was this place going to be non-competitive? I was worried but we prayed and asked the Lord to send us to minister to anyone and to serve anyone who came into our paths. You see ministry is about glorifying God and as Jesus example we need to wash others feet and lay our lives down for others. It is about esteeming others above yourself. So when we got there and met those other women I was so impressed. Every woman I came in contact with was a servant. I was so blessed to see so many women on the same path and support each other. We determined that to be like Jesus is to love others to the fullest capacity, putting their interests above your own. It was such a wonderful experience.

The first day on the way up Kara and I were attacked with dizzy spells. Good thing Pat was there to intercede for us! Kara and I were pretty weak together. We had Pat there to balance us. I do think that the enemy did not want us to receive the blessing God had in store for us. Despite that craziness we learned so much to sharpen our gifts. We were able to meet with some publishers and present our material. We were able to network with others in ministry. We were able to encourage others with the call. I have made some lasting friendships who are walking the same path and I cannot wait to see what God does with them all. You can check the conference out at www.shespeaksconference.com I highly recommend it. God definitely confirmed my calling to the ministry He has given me. You see, I work with college students most of the time and due to my great passion for Jesus some at times take offense to it. It is nothing I mean to do to offend, it is just my zeal and love for the Lord. I have struggled so much about this and have shrunk back some from them because some complaints were made about me and not on one occasion. Not understanding how to respond and handle this (and feeling very beaten up) I just kind of distanced myself some. I was still physically present but held back what the Holy Spirit wanted me to do there because of my fear of what people thought of me. That is sin. That sin has been hindering my ministry. God is so sweet because my speaker evaluator listened to me teach and speak and she told me that the students that I serve are blessed to have me. She told me that I have a great gift. She told me I exude a sweet and gentle spirit. That I shine Jesus so brightly. Those words encouraged me so much. I spoke to others who wanted to use my college material for their ministries. God confirmed my call. At the end of the conference we had to write something down and lay it at the cross. So I wrote down fear. Fear of what man thinks of me. I give this to Jesus. I am writing this out for you so that you can help hold me accountable when I do not show this behavior. I am living for Jesus and Him alone. I will do the things He tells me to do and serve Him completely. True freedom and encouragement.

Ants? I am sure you are wondering. On our drive home, ants, I mean hundreds of ants of all sizes started pouring out into the van. When I noticed them was when they started to crawl up and over my pants. So I had ants in my pants and all around. Apparently they decided to build a nest in our mesh in the doors of our van while in Charlotte. I suppose they wanted a ride to Chatt-town. Maybe they didn't have the fair to pay so they hitched a ride. But I was not happy with them hitching a ride on me. It became personal when they decided to bite me. When I realized I could not get them all out myself and needed reinforcement we got off an exit with a vacuum to try to suck them all up. When we realized that was not enough because there was a HUGE family there (I am talking family reunion) we decided to go into the gas station to see if they had anything for our problem. The only thing I could find was a can of RAID--which is not the best smelling thing for inside a small vehicle but we were desperate so I bought it considering it was Outdoor fresh scent! I sprayed that outdoor fresh scent all around. The aroma was well quite overpowering. So we looked up and across the street was a Starbucks. To our delight we drove over and sprayed up those ants and let the car air out. Ants dropped by the ton out of that door and after I got them all out of my pants I enjoyed a grande cafe mocha with my girls. It was a sweet blessing. I think God knew after all that drama what we would need and He provided in our love language!