God Did Not Make Us All To Fit The Same Mold - Aspergers in Church

Joy fills my heart as I sing gratitude for my King beside my daughter. My mind is overjoyed at the goodness of God and all He has done. I am thankful that my family feels the same. I glance over and smile at my daughter and then I see my husband all together praising our Savior.

Yet someone is missing. I look down. I see her. Expressionless. Sitting quietly occupying herself with the ipad. It would seem to the outsider that this child is just not interested in the things of God. Or perhaps that her parents are not responsible because they don't make her stand up and sing along with everyone else.

My heart sinks. It starts again, that dialogue I have often with God over this. Why does it make me sad that she doesn't fit the mold of everyone else? I don't know. I love sitting in the back row so no one can see this struggle. Otherwise I start feeling like I might be judged. I know many parents who would never think of letting their kid just sit there like that playing on a device and I respect that. Daughter number one is not allowed to do this, but, daughter number two is different. She is not neurotypical. Many factors on any given day in a group setting cause her to turn more inward. I cannot predict them.

What I do know is my sweet child absolutely loves the Lord. She unashamedly praises Him alone in the house or in the car. She loves learning about her Savior and His word and wants to live it out. She has a huge heart and desires to please her parents and God. However there is something about the group dynamic that is difficult for her to do the same.

I as a mom to a special needs child must remember that it doesn't matter what anyone else may think. I have to talk myself also out of condemning thoughts over this. I must do what is best for my child. I am glad she gets to sit in service, which is a huge deal for her. Even though she keeps occupied with the ipad, she surprises me by repeating things that were meaningful to her through the sermon. I know she hears and listens but I need to be okay with her way. The way God made her. The way He made her different than the majority. Her difference is special and unique and I want to embrace it.

I think this may be one of the reasons many special needs families find church difficult. Sensory overload is something that will cause an unexpected and immediate break down or tantrum. Neurotypical people cannot always predict how or when sensory overload will happen. Neurotypical people cannot understand this overload and response either. I am just thankful my girl has learned how to cope in church using the ipad. I think it helps her avoid this overload that she is very sensitive to.

If you see a child in church playing on a device, don't judge. There is probably more going on than you think. Don't think that child is not hearing the message or not interested in the things of God either. Again, you cannot know what is going on in anothers mind. Don't give the parents a hard time when they allow their child to play on a device like this through service. Again, you have no idea what is going on in their family. Love them. Get to know them. Find out what would best help their special needs child.