Book Review: I Exalt You, O God by Jerry Bridges

I received a copy of this ebook free of charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

I love Jerry Bridges. I have loved everything I have read by him. This book again was not a disappointment. Bridges has a way of writing that God uses to make your heart burst out in spontaneous worship. When we have our eyes on Jesus we do grow in Him just pondering His great majesty and love for us. This book helps you process through this using certain passages from the Bible.

This is a 31 day devotional book. It is biblically sound and filled with God's word. It is a book that I highly recommend if you are wanting to grow closer to the Lord a little day by day. It is a great devotional for anyone. Especially if you want to grow in awe and worship of the Lord.

To get a copy of this book from Amazon go here.

Book Review: Be the Mom

I received a copy of this book at no charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

This book was a book that should probably be directed to new moms or moms who cannot see the true value of being a mom. When I was first a mom I struggled with purpose a lot. I was influenced more by the culture than the Bible. This book would be a good read for those kind of moms.

It was not a deep read. I also only like reading things now that really draw me toward Christ and I did not see this book doing that. I was reminded of traps that moms can fall into and that I still fall into at times however the real solution is leaning more into Christ and His word. I felt like the book directed me more into the things I could do to avoid these traps. I did not like this aspect of the book.

If you move beyond that it was practical filled with stories of the authors experience of motherhood. The traps were very common ones that most of us fall into from time to time. See the table of contents on Amazon to see these.  Either way it was just a book of encouragement toward moms to Be the mom you are called to be which is what we all need to do.

To get a copy of this book on Amazon go here.

Book Review: From the Library of C.S. Lewis compiled by Bell and Dawson

I received a copy of this book free of charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

I love the idea of this book! I love C.S. Lewis and his body of work that ranges in diversity from children's books to deep intellectual thought books. This man's talent was indeed amazing and the popularity of his thought has remained strong. As a writer myself studying someone like Lewis' life and thought is important.

Of course it is intriguing to know who the other writers were that influenced the brilliance of his mind. This book is packed full of these examples with selected pieces from these various authors. This book has been organized very well. It divides its chapters on topics like suffering, Obedience and Will, and God's love. This makes the book extremely practical as a read as well.

As an example, do you want to see what some of the writings were that influenced Lewis' thought on God's love? Simply open up the book to that chapter and read them. I loved that. If you like C.S. Lewis and are interested in some of the things that influenced him then this is a book for you. This is one of those books you want to keep on your bookshelf to refer back too time and time again.

To get a copy of this book from Amazon go here.

Book Review: I Used to be So Organized by Whitwer

I received a copy of this book free of charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

I love the ladies with Proverbs 31 ministries so I knew I wanted to read this book by Glynnis. I also have some issues with organization so I thought it would be a double bonus! It was nice to see her address this topic from a Christian perspective some. There are at times root issues going on when we are extremely disorganized, have you seen the show Hoarders?! Though I am not close to that kind of disorganization, I do need practical advice on better ways to get and stay organized. I think most people could use this advice in our world today.

The book is formatted in an orderly fashion that addresses these things in proper order. You look at how you got that way, setting expectations for yourself and your family, understanding how to organize. Then you are walked through taking a look at where you may be overwhelmed, steps to create order, then practical tips addressing issues room by room. It was over all helpful and interesting for a book on this topic. I also liked the resources she directs you to through out the book.

If you have problems with organization this book could be helpful for you to read.

To get a copy of this book from Amazon you can go here.

Adoption as a Picture of the Gospel

I was watching my friend with her adopted son. God showed me a picture in my head of the beauty of it all. As she tenderly held her son I could see how he did not chose her but she chose him as God does with us. Her tender care reminded me of God's tender care of me. How He loved me first. 

Then I could see how her son could bring nothing to her. He had nothing to offer but they still chose him. They still fully and completely adopted this child. They loved him completely. It was a precious thing to watch.

I never thought adoption would be something that we would do, however God does not lay out the 5 year plan for us either. He started speaking to my husband and I about adopting a little boy who was 3 or under. I must admit it was a really fun thought. We were not sure how it would happen but trusted God would just lead us and show us what we needed to do.

That is how little man came into our lives. He just turned three and needed a home. He had nothing to offer us. Yet instantly we feel in love with him. We chose him. We accepted the task of getting legal custody of him to give him a home. To help his parents out so they could get their lives together to later reunify them together if they did the things that the court deemed necessary. 

This is how our situation with him is hard. There is no guarantee that the process will ever be complete. This Scripture helped me explain how it makes my heart feel about it. 

^"And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience^" (Romans 8:23-25).

Just as God has adopted us as daughters and sons it is not fully completed until that day He comes back for us. On that day all will be final and complete. Until then we will be groaning inwardly as we wait.Though we wait with hope. Though we have legal custody of our little guy it is not final and complete until a determined time. It is hard to wait for the outcome. He has been with us now for six months. It will only get harder as we connect more as a family. Yet we wait with patience and hope in God's perfect plan and timing. 

Continual Grief with Glimpses of Joy in Autism

I was at a conference listening to Nancy Guthrie speak, she is well known for her work on Grief Share. She was speaking about points of processing through grief. Grief Share is really help for the grieving process in the death of a loved one. However, I knew since I lived in a state of continual grief it would be helpful. And it was.

However, there is something permanent about death. It is something that changes you forever but it is a once and for all event. The sadness may linger but eventually people can learn to move forward. It is final. My problem is experiencing little deaths almost daily because of the disability of my daughter.

On the outside she looks perfect. You could not observe with the eye any obvious disability which makes this type of grieving a little harder because it is more lonely and isolated. Because of this I often find myself forgetting she has this brokenness. Then something happens and I remember. My heart aches and I long for our new home in Heaven and the fully abled resurrected bodies that will come with that. Come Lord Jesus.

My friend asked Mrs. Guthrie if they had any materials that addressed my issue of living a continual state of grief. I really do not think you can change this state. Every new action that shows the apparent brokenness strikes my heart with pain. And sadly there were no resources to address this kind of grief.

However, I have just started reading a book called Disability and the Gospel which so far has been insightful and helpful knowing I am not alone in this. Also, I am so thankful to God for giving us glimpses of joy. With the areas of challenge come areas of strength.

Today I got to experience the joy of seeing this. My daughter rejoiced in having autism. She said she was so glad because it was so cool. TODAY. But tomorrow new challenges will present itself. I will take today. I will take the little joys of the amazing abilities that she does have because of this. I will look at the good that will come and the joy of being constantly reminded of weakness and our need for the Savior.

I don't know if you are in this place or not of grieving quietly and continually. It is almost too much for a heart to take. Yet one day all things will be restored. Brokenness made whole. Grieving turned to joy. And until then we hold tight to God's promises in Christ. We will trust His perfect plan in allowing this life for her because He knows her best, He loves her most. That is how you walk with continual grief. You hope in the Risen Savior who loves you and is familiar with grief. Our hope is in HIM alone.

The Grace of Lyme Disease

The most beautiful gift God has given me came in the form of Lyme disease. I know that statement is strange, but it is true. I am thankful for my husband and my children. I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful for so many blessings He has poured forth upon me and my life but something had to change.

I was so very self-focused. Whatever I did I slapped God onto it but He was not the center, I was. I was ready for ministry. I thought I had it all together. God placed in my heart a strong desire to help the hurting, yet what did I actually know about that? Up to the point of chronic illness I had been through some hard things but not anything too authentically hard to understand those deeply suffering.

In turn when I started to get sick and decline unknowing what actually was wrong with my body I started to hear things from the professionals, "it is all in your head, you are fine." "Maybe you should see a psychiatrist." Yeah maybe after all the unbelief these supposed professionals spewed at me through unedifying words.

Then the "Christian" comforters like the friends of Job rose up and said things like, "Well you just do not have enough faith." or "There must be some sort of sin in your life that is causing this." These comments probably hurt more than those of the professionals. I did not expect much of the paid people who were suppose to help me however these other people were my spiritual family and supposed friends.

People need not speak into things they do not know.

I was devastated, It was only days or weeks before that I caught a passion in my heart that desired God above all other things. I prayed, "God please do whatever it takes to make me more like Jesus, to make me what you want me even if it comes to death, let Angela die and YOU live." I was whole heartedly serious.

When you pray prayers that are sincere like that He hears. He spurns our hearts in the first place. He now was coming tenderly and fiercely at the same time. I was wooed and cut all at the same time. A strange thing indeed but a precious time. I would not trade this for the world.

It was only here in this desperate place that I came to understand I needed to know what God really said about illness and faith. Again, I was trying to be the center wondering what I could have done or why my faith was weak because I just prayed this prayer? I was not even seeing it was about Him being strong. About Him using these circumstances to mold and shape me more like Him.

Less of me more of HIM.

Prayer being answered but the people around had no idea. They spoke what they did not know. They needed to be in the word and studying it for themselves. Not listening to what others say or speculate. KNOWING and STUDYING the word for yourself is what makes all the difference and makes your theology sound.

The  gift God gave me in Lyme was inviting me to understand who He really is. How He loves me so much that He died for me and my sins. How I was indeed a depraved sinner of the worst kind yet He chose me and counted me lovely, even to the point of sharing in His suffering.

Can He heal? YES HE CAN! I thought at one point I was fully healed yet He has allowed this disease to linger longer still. Was I angry? YES I WAS! Yet again it was about me being the center not HIM. If we want to bring Him supreme glory and experience the most joy we must trust His plan. What the enemy may want to use to destroy us, He is actually using for our good and His glory.

So are you suffering now? What is your center? What is the important end result? Your healing or His glory? You being well or being more like Him? My prayer is we will become a people who are not afraid to experience all the fullness of Him as He molds and shapes us in whatever means He allows as a vehicle to do this. Oh how I hope we will wake up to His goodness and kindness to us.

The Danger of Taking Scripture out of Context

I was working at a children's home. I thought it had been a little long that the silence had lingered upstairs where the two boys were roomed. I walked up to the room to see what was going on and made it just in time.

Two sinks in their bathroom area were being filled with water. For what they had purposed I did not know? I soon found out that they were about to try to drown themselves. What!? I thought, why? What is the problem here that would cause you both to take your lives?

They showed me their Bible and the verse they read. It was, "For the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23a). They concluded that they were sinners so this was the only outcome for them. How dangerous!

Being a newer believer but knowing the character of God I knew that could not be fully true, I picked up that Bible and said, guys you cannot just stop there, the best part comes next it says, "but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23b). At that moment they realized they needed a Savior because of their great sin, however God does not leave us in that state. He had a plan in place and in His word it contrasts the first death sentence. It says BUT the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord! What a important and beautiful piece of Scripture to miss. It is a gift by faith in Christ.

The moral is read Scripture in context, it could be literally a matter of life or death. For these boys the second half of the Scripture not only saved their souls but also their lives.

Book Review: The Truth About The Lordship of Christ by John MacArthur

I received a free copy of this ebook from the publisher for the purpose of review.

This book was exactly what I thought it would be. It is a straight shooting Scripture packed book about The Lordship of Christ and how one should live if He is the Lord of their life. It was direct yet encouraging. I was spurned on by reading it. I often find myself frustrated at the many people who call themselves Christians yet do not live as if Jesus is Lord. This book just help my mind make peace with this issue.

John MacArthur is an author that I enjoy. It is not an incredibly long book but addresses the issue fully. There are other books in The Truth About Series. I may check those out as well. One good thing about this book is the amount of Scripture used to back up his statements. It is also written from a reformed line of thought which is probably good to reference. If you are not of this line of thinking the first chapter will probably be taken offensively.

To get a copy of this book from amazon go here.

My Heart and Dubai

I know I have made several comments about Dubai. I have received many questions about this so I decided I will write a post about it.

First, I have had a heart that is drawn to middle eastern people groups for a very long time. However going to many of the countries seem unsafe for a family. That is not the case with Dubai. Dubai is an open country. It is safe and not oppressive to women like some other countries.

Second, It is one of the most diverse countries in the world representing people from many different nations. It is a mixture of people groups. Living in the center of this type of community would be one of my greatest dreams come true and where I believe I would feel the most at home. Seriously Heaven will be like this, all the people groups coming together forming a new race of people. I would love to live in the shadow of that here and now.

Third, We could get work there and live supporting ourselves to do our mission work. We could do this and partner with a church. The church I heard about is Redeemer Church of Dubai.

Fourth, I know God is up to something. This small country in the middle of the desert far across the world keeps coming up before me. This is one way that God works in our lives to get our attention. I do not know if we are ever suppose to move there or not yet but I am praying a lot for the country and the church.

Fifth, I was invited to participate in this work. You are too listen to this talk by a women living there.

Not only can we self support our selves if we were to make it there but they have a great American hospital and schools. It is not exactly what you think when you think middle east.

Of course many things logistically would have to fall into place for it to happen. Some huge miracles would have to take place. We are not closing the door to this until the Lord makes it apparent we are not to proceed. So in the meantime we will be learning Arabic and researching the country. Hoping to maybe take a short term trip or two to check it all out. We will see where God leads.

Book Review: Word, Spirit, Power

I received a copy of this book free of charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

I requested this book for two reasons. I really like R.T. Kendall. God used his book Total Forgiveness to help me so much in a desperate time of my life. I appreciated him as an author so I was open to reading this book not knowing much of the other two authors except that they were somewhat charismatic. Which in most cases I avoid simply because the focus on the word is usually weak. That is the other reason I chose this book. I wondered how such a solid scholar of the word could write and partner with people who may be completely different from him.

This book did however have a very good focus on the Word. It was broken up in to three parts each written by one of the authors. Word was written by R.T. Kendall. Spirit was written by Jack Taylor, and Power by Charles Carrin. Each author shared a little of their testimonies and work God is doing in their lives. It was helpful to read of their backgrounds. I appreciated too that they all saw the authority of the word important and acknowledged how some people grieve the Holy Spirit by making up what He is doing for a show. They all acknowledged revival is an act of the Spirit when He wills and that no one can make that happen.

The book was a call to people to bring the word and the Spirit together which then brings forth the power of God. I believe this book was balanced and I appreciated it because I do not like all the denominational lines we have that create division. I appreciated how three very different men of different backgrounds could come together and be in unity! Now that is true power from God.

To get a copy of this book from Amazon you can go here.

Book Review: Days of Jesus by Jim Jackson

I received a copy of this ebook free of charge from the author for the purpose of review.

This is an amazing resource and one I highly reccomend you check out! It is put together in an easy to read and understand devotional format. It is longer than the typical devotional because it is so rich and deep in explaining the Scriptures.

Each day of the 31 days of study walks you through portions of the book of John. You walk through this in order from the beggining of John to about midway through. That is why this book is called part 1. Part 2 will conclude the book of John and will be coming in the future. I cannot wait to get my hands on it.

The reason I really like this resource is because beholding Jesus is what transforms us. As we do this the Holy Spirit stirs and changes us. I found myself in spontaneous worship over and over again reading the accounts. These devotions are so helpful because they give you the historical and cultural background that is appropriate for each situation Jesus finds Himself. It is well researched and does an incredible job pointing you toward Christ. In fact I learned so much I was unaware of regarding Jewish culture.

Another amazing thing that comes with this are some short videos that were filmed on the actual locations where Jesus walked. They can be .found here. Check them out they are very well put together.

This is a great product that can be used as a tool to draw you closer to Christ through understanding the culture and times He walked along with the Scriptures. These devotionals may take you 30 minutes but they give you meat that is so worth the time. I hope you decide to pick this one up! It is well worth it AND as an ebook it is only 3.99. You can order that or the soft or hard copy here. If you do order the ebook note that definitions and explanations to each chapter that need to be expounded are in the very back of the book. Don't miss this.

Book Review: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960 - 2010 by Charles Murray

I received a copy of this book at no charge from the publisher for the purpose of review.

This book was interesting to me because I have always been interested in human behavior. This book takes a statistical look at class diversion among white people from 1960 - 2010 in America.  It is a very interesting read if you like that sort of thing like I do.

I was a bit surprised at some of the reasons for this huge gap that happened through history. It was very informative. I don't want to say what was all involved because I want you to read this yourself. Besides the complexities there are would not even give the book justice if I were to summarize them.

There were a few things that stood out to me, importance of education, solid family life, and Christian principles. The data shows when these things are strong in culture and class things are better but when they decline culture declines. These plus many other factors have helped create a divide.

Though religion was discussed in the book I cannot see how this book can be classified "Christian" that is one pet peeve I have with books that are considered "Christian." It is also important to note that the author describes himself as libertarian.


To get a copy of this book from Amazon go here.

Family Discipleship Plan Review from Precept Ministries

It is so important that we learn to study the word of God for ourselves and this resource not only helps you as an individual accomplish that goal but also helps they entire family. I received a copy of the Abraham materials which consists of these following items from Precept Ministries for the purpose of review. However there are other materials to chose from as well. Go to the link to view them all.


The Family Discipleship Plan is unique because it focuses on the entire family. So not only do you get to do your study but your family is doing it all at the same time. It is a great tool to use to get conversations going about what you are learning and feeling confident that your entire family is learning to study the word for themselves which is so important for the next generation!

In my family, I am working with a 3 year old, 8 year old and 10 year old alongside with my husband.  So how this plan works for us is as follows:

For my three year old I was given a print off sheet of activities to do with young children. They can sit along around family discussions, learn mini sections of the Scriptures, mold things from playdoh or draw pictures that go along with the Scriptures (depending on the development of your child). Any preschool children can do this part and they will pick up the enthusiasm of your excitement of the Scriptures.

The adults can chose which of the above pictured studies to do. The first is Precept upon Precept and takes about an hour a day maybe. That is the format that I prefer because it takes you into a deeper study of the word. However, if you do not have that much time to dedicate this other book gives you a less intensive but still great look into the word. My husband chose the smaller book. They both keep us on course of studying the same thing.
 








My youngest two children did this study to stay on tract reading the same Scriptures. I cannot tell you adequately in words how much I love these studies for children. It is so important to help them learn to study the Scriptures for themselves as early as possible. These books aid in this so much. Not only do they make it fun but also include another educational storyline along with them. There are so many to choose so do check them out as well here. Basically if they have a decent reading capability they can start these studies. My eight year old needs a little help but my ten year old can do this on her own.

Now I do not have a high schooler but this is another book that goes along with these if you do have one. It is a bit more geared to them instead of the adventures of Max and Molly in the Discover for Yourself Series for younger kids. It is a good resource as well. Same great stuff just more age related or appropriate.

Over all I would highly recommend this resource just for the sake of the family being able to study Scriptures for themselves and have the ability to discuss it together.

Now you may ask why can we not just open up the Bible and do it that way without the resources? That is a good question and you can certainly do it that way. However this is helping each person learn to study the word for themselves and is requiring the discipline from each one individually to do that. This hands on approach is an excellent way to promote love and learning of the Scriptures but more importantly the ability to know how to study them for themselves and it is never too early to learn that. And as you study the same thing you can discuss and share more deeply with one another as a family.

Reasons to See Magic Mike

1- You do not mind that you are the house that indwells the Holy Spirit of God and in seeing that stuff you don't mind taking Him to the strip club (1 Corinthians 6:13,19-20).

2- You do not mind descrating your marriage bed by bringing other images into it beside your husband (Hebrews 13:4).

3- When God tells you to not even have a hint of sexual immorality in your life and it is improper for God's Holy People you don't take it seriously (Ephesians 6:3).

4- You just think it doesn't affect anyone else but yourself (Romans 12:5).

5- You want to support those who practice immorality which is really showing hate not love so you do not mind being linked to those who will not inherit the kingdom of God in supporting these practices (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

When You Have Two Moms

This journey has been the most difficult yet most rewarding of my life. Life with little guy is truly an adventure. He is such a joy! Children are gifts, a heritage from the Lord! Yet why do we treat them differently? Why do we not give them the two parent home (one male and one female) that they deserve? They need this environment of love and respect that only a stable home can bring.

Marriage is suppose to represent Christ and the church to the world. Each person gets to play the Jesus role of masculinity servant leadership and femininity submission. It is a beautiful thing if lived out the way God intended. The unfortunate thing is that we are in a sin stricken world where people like to be right in their own eyes instead of being concerned about the rightness of the Holy Scriptures.

With that said, our little man has two mothers in his life. His biological mother who was deemed neglectful and his legal mother who is baffled at how this is suppose to work out. As I stated in an earlier post I did not want to like her but God has moved my heart otherwise. I am building a relationship with her trying to encourage her to do the things she is suppose to do. It is a tough kind of love but necessary for her sake and the sake of her sons. She is made in the image of God just like me and her sons.

You see adoption is final. He would be ours completely, he would wear our name, it would be complete forever. But right now we only have legal custody which is not final, I guess it is like a marriage proposal which can be broken before the final wedding day, yet after the wedding day it is final. Christ adopts us like this, once we are His there is no changing that. Yet living in limbo, lacking permanence, is hard for everyone.

When you are secure in Christ and know you can believe every promise, know you have a wonderful inheritance, know He will never let you go, know He delights so much in you that He went all the way to the cross and back for you. That security is amazing, adoption complete. Yet for those in limbo, those who cannot feel this stability and permanency, life is unpredictable. It is confusing and they remain searching for something that will bring this stability.

The first couple of months I found myself stewing in anger at the horrible conditions these children were reported to be in. Taking it further I was angry that he was kept confined to the playpen or car seat all day long. The living conditions were not clean and the location is a known hub for prostitution. So maybe I should be grateful he was confined to atleast the security of a room instead of that hard environment day in and day out.

My anger came from the lack of protection, the lack of fight for making a suitable home for these children. The complacency of selfishness and laziness. Then here lately she said she hoped that we did not think they were bad people. It confronted me and my own heart. No I don't think they are bad just mislead and lacking skills. We all are bad really apart from the saving grace of Christ. The need for Christ is the great equalizer. Whatever class, culture, sex we are we are all desperate for Christ to save us from our sin.

He came, He beat sin on our behalf then exchanged His righteousness for our sin. There was nothing we could do to earn it. It is a gift of grace. I am amazed by this. I want to shine the light of the gospel to the other mom. Thus far we have not been together in the same place with little man at the same time. However, we were invited to come to the next visit. All of us, that means my girls too. I wonder what God can do with this, two moms who hopefully desire the best for this little guy. Two moms who hopefully can see their need for Christ. Two moms who can humble themselves and admit their wrong doings and needs.

This also makes me sad on one last point,do you realize that your children are a gift? Do you delight in them? Do you give them a sense of stability? Do you chose selfishness and laziness over them? This summer time is a great opportunity to be what they need instead of sending them off wherever you can find to keep them away from you. Do you realize how many want children but cannot have them? Or how many orphans are in the world craving parents? Don't make your own crave like orphans because of your lack? Or do you know how many wicked people are out there just wanting to take advantage of them? Parents please see them as the gift they are and take the time to die to yourselves to delight in them. Show them the love of the Father. That love that the Father has freely lavished on you. Please for the sake of a generation, these are image bearers of our great God. Do not let them fall in the cracks.

Book Review: Father Hunger by Douglas Wilson

I received a copy of this book free of charge from the publisher for the sake of review.

I was interested in this book entitled, Father Hunger, because it hits a very personal place in my life and heart. Not only am I raising a child whose father is absent (though my husband is a good stand in) I have worked with at risk children who have had absent fathers over the years as well. It is a heart breaking trend and the absence of a father damages children. I have seen it with my very eyes.

I have read many other books over the years that address this topic, yet Father Hunger was the best read yet. The subtitle is Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families, and this is why this book is different. This book takes a gospel centered approach to address this growing problem. Not only are there statistics and discussion of the seriousness of the problem at hand but also the author takes a good look at how it effects our view of our Heavenly Father God. How manhood has been attacked and how unnatural it is for this to be how we live.

It is filled with arguments as to why gospel centered fathers are important yet centers on the more important thing of needing strong men who play the servant leader role in their families and in turn this points their family members to Jesus. That is the important end desired after all.

I know this book was written primarily for men but it was an insightful read for me. I really liked seeing a book written like this from the males perspective, one that rallies men to fill the role they were called to play. I also respect how the author addresses women in the book. It was all around biblical and encouraged me greatly. It is a good read and I highly recommend it. We have a very sad epidemic of absent fathers and it cannot remain this way.

You can get a copy of this book from Amazon here.