Hi My Name is Angela and I Have a Child with Autism but GRACE

My friend who also has a child with special needs asked me if I was going to sign my child up for dream night which is a special event for families of kids with special needs. I knew about this event and saw it listed earlier but conveniently forgot about it. When it was brought back up to the surface again I was confronted with my heart.

Several times a year I see these events for special needs kids. I think they are great yet I try to forget I have a kid with special needs. There is a problem in my heart with pride. Because outwardly she looks "normal" it is easy to forget she does have special needs until a tantrum occurs or I see her try to spread peanut butter on bread or I see her in social situations or remember we can never again watch a family movie together until some anxieties clear up.  I quietly mourn these things by myself. Maybe I don't want to accept it? Maybe I am faced with my own weakness and I want to be strong here? Maybe I think people just don't care about my grief? I am not sure.

You see I am more than happy to serve special needs kids or support special needs kids but when the grace of service comes to me personally I find it difficult to receive. I find it difficult to accept this gift of service and love toward our family because of our special needs. Families like ours desperately need this gift of grace. We need to know we are loved and not alone. We need to know there are others out there who want to help and love on us. I just need to accept it. I need to receive it.

It is not unlike God's free gift of grace to us. It is too good to be true but it is TRUE! We must simply believe it is ours and receive it by faith. It is so simple yet so profound! God will never turn away one who believes this. And not only is this good news my answer for a secure eternity, it is my answer for here and now as well. When my pride gets in the way of receiving help I run to Him knowing He took my pride on the cross. I confess this to Him and then ask for Him to help me with my unbelief. I remember because of what He has done I am free to be weak. I am free to receive help. I am free to be a family with special needs. I am free to admit my weakness. I am free to admit the ugly thoughts of my heart. Christ took those on the cross on my behalf. He then gave me the identity of all He ever did. That is how I am viewed in God's eyes. It does not matter what anyone else sees not even how I view myself. I am wholly loved. I am wholly accepted. I am free. Period.

This free gift is available to all who believe it. What a Savior!