A Word on Fear and Anxiety

A week ago I posted over at Comfort in the Midst of Chaos.  I love this ministry that ministers to the community of special needs.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." ~2 Timothy 1:7

Fear. It has a way of dealing with us in the most deceptive ways. It can come at you in full force without hiding or it can just sneak up on you like a ninja ready to fight. However, I think the worst kind of fear is the low level, day by day, fear that is fed to us little by little by the media or other constant fear-mongering sources.

We don't need help with fear. The media exposure just enhances that for us. Our minds will hold on to fear all on their own. Yet the outside influences of this present age could be petrifying.

Yet, we see that God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. Did you hear that? The only fear we should have is fear of God. God gave us a spirit of power, such power by His spirit that resurrected Christ from the dead (Ephesians 1:19-20). That power lives in us. That kind of power has no need for fear. READ MORE HERE.

The Gospel and a Women's Work

145 women submitted articles on this topic. They articles basically fell into five common categories. This is the compiled article on the gospel coalition site regarding those. There is so much we do as women! I think this is why I have such a heart for women's ministry.

Here is my article about the gospel and work.

What do I do every day? This question is almost comical to me regarding my work. I am a mom who stays at home with her three children. Not only that but I homeschool them. I am also the manager of the home; keeping things running. I am the lover and encourager of my husband. I am a blogger, writer and teacher. I have many roles and responsibilities to play well; people are depending on it.

As a homemaker, I take care of my home which requires much cleaning, cooking, teaching, and loving.

As a homeschool teacher, I teach my children the things they need for a well-rounded education.

As a manager of the home, I get to manage meals, budgets, and schedules.

As a wife, I get to keep my husband well-tended.

As a blogger and writer, I get to meet deadlines and encourage others around the world.

As a teacher, I get to disciple others in the word of God. I get to help foreigners understand English and American culture through ESL.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I do not like my work even to the point of resentment. Yet what I am realizing is that during those times, I do not have my eyes fixed where they need to be. I get overwhelmed because I lose control of how I think things should look on a given day. I do not like my work when I lose the focus of doing everything for the glory of God alone. This is where faith and work meet.

I must keep my eyes on Jesus when I am wiping a dirty butt. I must keep my eyes on Jesus when I am crying with my oldest over an algebra problem. I must keep my eyes on Jesus and trust that my child with special needs will eventually be okay in adult life. This is where my work and faith meet.

It is imperative we understand that God is sovereign. We must be flexible to let God rule our day. It is wise to plan but even more so to hold those plans loosely because people get sick, accidents happen, and life changes. We live in an unpredictable world, holding our plans loosely will help us find joy in all of our work.

In the many stresses of my work I am reminded that I need a Savior! I am desperate for one to save me from myself! If I can capture those frustrations quickly enough they can be replaced by the affections of Christ. He lived on this earth in flesh like me, He understands it, He chose me, He even chose my good works, I just need to trust and walk in them. I need to trust He lived perfectly what I could not. The pressure is off whether I am doing work that I naturally love or work that is messy and I would not chose, either way I can trust and walk and do it all for the glory of God because He chose me and loves me. He did the unthinkable for me so no matter how hard the work I am given, I can do it in Him because He gives me strength.

As women it is important we do not isolate in times of frustration, we need community to help point us back to Christ when our eyes veer away from Him. We need one another no matter our position in life, women are very relational and we need to support one another in our work, whatever it is. This is when things are truly meaningful in regards to our faith and work; women walking together shoulder to shoulder for the greater glory of God despite our differences and roles we play.

When You Secretly Wish You Could Run

***Not sure who to credit with this photo. It was going around Facebook today...

Sometimes when I see people running and training for things, it makes my heart sad. I really want to rejoice with them and for them and I do, but the consequence of it is seeing my own deficiency. It really should not be a big deal yet I fight back tears every. single. time.

I used to be an athlete. I used to be a competitive dancer and runner. I used to be in great shape and I loved every step that came with dance. I loved how I felt like I could fly. I also especially loved running when I was angry. There is something about the thrill of hashing out problems in your mind while your feet crush the pavement below that is exhilarating. Especially on black asphalt, that is the best. The sound and smell of it even now delights my soul.

However, that is of the past; At least for now. I know God can heal but sometimes He chooses not to. That is my reality. It is okay most days. I can walk along and live my life to the very fullest capacity. I can walk my race toward Him boldly and confidently but then I look around and I stumble some because there are so many runners. These runners are fast and in great shape. They have the strength of Samson, I often feel like Job in the dust, sitting feeling like I have nothing to offer.

But it is not true, I am not sitting, I am walking, sometimes I get a burst of strength to run, sometimes I crawl. Often I crawl. I will fight with all of my strength to move toward Him. I am on a journey home. My body, just like yours, is meant to die on the Earth. It will give out one day. No one lives here forever but in Heaven our bodies will be amazing! I cannot wait! Yet it spurns an urgency in my heart because too many people are running but not knowing where they are going. Too many are seeking gifts but not the Giver. Too many people are lost with out a Savior. As I sit, I pray.

In whatever strength He gives you, serve. Serve well, love well. Don't forget to help the weak. Don't make them feel in the way or like a dead weight. Don't make them feel less because God has not healed them. Love them. Learn from them. We are all on this journey together. All we get is a blip of time to live well for Him.

Because of the invisible illness I live with is so controversial, it is not certain how it will turn out. Doctors cannot even agree on it. I am only one of many living with Chronic Lyme Disease. However, many would say that Chronic Lyme does not even exist. That statement alone makes it hurt even worse. The manifestation of my Lyme mimics MS for me and as I write, scary things are happening to my body. They do randomly and without warning. But I refuse to live in fear! God is the remover of my fear. I will trudge on and will serve in the strength that He has given me.

Runners, do not take the ability to run free for granted because at any moment you could lose it. Health is not a guaranteed gift. Weakness is not either, as soon as weakness comes it can lift. Either stage God allows you in, live it to the fullest for Him. He is the goal. He is all that matters. Use each stage to be mindful of Him.

In weakness praise Him for being your strength. In strength praise Him for the gift. Don't take anything for granted. Run, walk or crawl your race but by all means keep going! Press through the pain. It is worth it! I promise. Maybe one day crawling will look as cool as running. You never know.

Comfort in the Midst of Chaos - Guest Post

I am over at Comfort in the Midst of Chaos today. I love this ministry geared toward parents of special needs children. Go and check them out here.

When you have the opportunity of raising a special needs child you have more available occasions to express true love than others. It can be easier to love a compliant child than a ten-year-old throwing a temper-tantrum in the middle of Walmart's floor. Anyone can love a cute and compliant child easily but when it gets tough can you still love unconditionally? READ MORE

Posting at Comfort in the Midst of Chaos Today

I love this ministry that encourages families that have children with special needs. You must check them out if you have not already. You can find them here.

I am posting about a heavy heart laced with weighty grace. Here is a preview:

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

    I have called you by name; you are mine.

2 

When you go through deep waters,

    I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

    you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

    you will not be burned up;

    the flames will not consume you.

3 

For I am the Lord, your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" (Isaiah 43b-43:3a, NLT).

My life often feels like a puzzle with a missing piece. Things appear to be fitting in place like the beautiful box picture but then something happens and a piece is missing again. Smooth sailing takes a back seat for another day. It is disturbing. It is a heaviness my heart feels like it cannot take. READ MORE.

A Strange Faith Filled Journey - Follow it This Year

"Wind's in the east, mist coming in, like something is brewing about to begin." This little quote from Marry Poppins is what I have been thinking about today. Change has been coming for quite some time but it was birthed in prayer. In prayer, change that you think God is stirring in your heart is exciting but then comes the time when faith has to hit your feet and you must walk in it; this is the scary yet exciting part.

The prayer period continues but walking this thing out is the next step. God is birthing something that we (Tony and I) can not tell you yet. We will inform as we can tell more, of course, but for now there are a few things we are doing in faith.

Last year we started getting our house ready to sell. We are almost there. Yet, a little debt was also acquired to get these things ready. We need to pay this off and earn enough for a few ministry related trips coming up for us. Again, we will say what we can when we know and we can.

I am so appalled by how much stuff we own! A friend and I have been talking about the need to simplify. In March it will be two years since we had the house fire. I realized then that I need very little to be okay, yet I look at all of this stuff. It is crazy to me! I, along with my friend, will be strategic on how to sell unneeded items. This is a must! We will challenge one another in this. I know this part will be painful yet comical.

I will give things away to others who need them.
I will be having garage sales with my friend.
I will be posting items for sale on various media outlets like Facebook or Amazon.

Really I do not need that much!

We have such a desire for women to be refreshed in their relationship with the Lord so we will also be using this for the ministry purposes of offering small retreats in order to do this. I am excited about serving women in this way! I hope you help us by spreading the word as we have more information available. 

I have been also feeling a desire to help those in poverty. Because of this I have partnered with Trades of Hope. This organization is amazing and helps so many people by empowering them so they can stay out of poverty and provide for their families. By supporting this ministry and selling their products I also can make a little income to put back into this ministry of refreshing others and mission trips our family has coming in the near future.

This blog will take on a new look in order to help you navigate this stuff easier. I really hope you will partner with us in prayer! God used your prayers to help so much in our adoption adventure! Of course we would not refuse a financial partnership either for these things but I cannot even tell you enough to give you a clear conscience about that yet! Buy from Trades of Hope, Buy our ebooks from Amazon, or buy our well used stuff we post to sell. This will help. Spread the word about it. That will help. We must partner with one another in the gospel. I appreciate any help you can give. Mostly I just ask for some faithful prayer partners because the things we are sensing are crazy dreams and we need clear direction and wisdom. 

The other challenge and step is for us to learn Arabic. We do not fully know why but we are being faithful. I know God will show us the fruit of this. I am actually seeing a little fruit because I have made some Arabic speaking friends this year. 

So for now this is vague and where we stand. When you wonder why I am selling so much and trying to earn income in these various ventures for our ministry it all boils down to these things. As we know more we will share. Our one need now is this; Prayer Partners.

If you can agree to partner with us in prayer for this year I would like to know. Please send me a message. I can send you regular prayer updates. I really need your help. We are excited at what God is doing!

Hi My Name is Angela and I Have a Child with Autism but GRACE

My friend who also has a child with special needs asked me if I was going to sign my child up for dream night which is a special event for families of kids with special needs. I knew about this event and saw it listed earlier but conveniently forgot about it. When it was brought back up to the surface again I was confronted with my heart.

Several times a year I see these events for special needs kids. I think they are great yet I try to forget I have a kid with special needs. There is a problem in my heart with pride. Because outwardly she looks "normal" it is easy to forget she does have special needs until a tantrum occurs or I see her try to spread peanut butter on bread or I see her in social situations or remember we can never again watch a family movie together until some anxieties clear up.  I quietly mourn these things by myself. Maybe I don't want to accept it? Maybe I am faced with my own weakness and I want to be strong here? Maybe I think people just don't care about my grief? I am not sure.

You see I am more than happy to serve special needs kids or support special needs kids but when the grace of service comes to me personally I find it difficult to receive. I find it difficult to accept this gift of service and love toward our family because of our special needs. Families like ours desperately need this gift of grace. We need to know we are loved and not alone. We need to know there are others out there who want to help and love on us. I just need to accept it. I need to receive it.

It is not unlike God's free gift of grace to us. It is too good to be true but it is TRUE! We must simply believe it is ours and receive it by faith. It is so simple yet so profound! God will never turn away one who believes this. And not only is this good news my answer for a secure eternity, it is my answer for here and now as well. When my pride gets in the way of receiving help I run to Him knowing He took my pride on the cross. I confess this to Him and then ask for Him to help me with my unbelief. I remember because of what He has done I am free to be weak. I am free to receive help. I am free to be a family with special needs. I am free to admit my weakness. I am free to admit the ugly thoughts of my heart. Christ took those on the cross on my behalf. He then gave me the identity of all He ever did. That is how I am viewed in God's eyes. It does not matter what anyone else sees not even how I view myself. I am wholly loved. I am wholly accepted. I am free. Period.

This free gift is available to all who believe it. What a Savior!

Book Review: Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home by Gloria Furman & Giveaway

I received a copy of this book at no charge for the purpose a an honest review.

This book is an incredible read, in fact I would go as far to say it is the best book of encouragement I have ever read for moms. However, I do not believe it is only for moms. I think any woman (or honestly any reader) would benefit from this book. It encourages and points you continually to Christ which is the only thing that can help you when it boils down to it. Many want to give you lists of rules or instructions but this book points you to Christ for answers, because of what He has already done and will do for us. It is encouraging to your faith so you hold your gaze on Him as you faithfully work in the mundane.

The author has an unique way to hold the reader's attention. She opens herself up in a way that is completely beautiful with all honesty and makes you wish you were her friend. In fact you don't even have to wish for she welcomes you in such a way you feel as if you are listening to a good friend. It feels like she understands your very own struggles in the mundane of life then she cheers you on to remember what Christ did and the promises that are true. This is an unusual gift for writers and she has it. I hope to see many more titles come from her.

Logistically the book takes you through many passages of Scripture and helps you see how your calling as a worker among the mundane is indeed miraculous. It is a place that God uses you in huge ways. We must remember who we belong to and what we have in Him regardless of where we are placed. The author states the reason for this book is so we can know, "Theology is for homemakers who need to know who God is, who they are, and what this mundane life is all about." The rest of the book unpacks this for the reader. In fact the "biggest questions explored in this book are: What does the gospel have to do with our lives in the home? and How does this grace change the way we live?"

You see the gospel is not a one time event but it is an everyday grace we need to remember as we live in it day by day or even moment by moment. Furman takes you through how to do this as a homemaker. She addresses how the gospel applies in mothering, marriage, keeping the home, friendships, pain and more. Pick it up and read it. You will not be sorry!

I loved this so much I want to give away two to you. This is my own purchase not a promotion from the publisher. This is how much I love this book and think you should read it. Just leave a comment below about what the gospel means to you. I will draw the winner on Friday.

To get a copy of this book from Amazon.com go here.

Purchase a copy of Glimpses of Grace from your favorite local or online retailer from June 3-7 and receive a free copy of the ebook as well as one of Gloria's favorite resources—the ESV Study Bible Online (ESVBible.org Web App & Ebook)!

To redeem your free extras, simply scan and email your receipt to glimpses@crossway.org before 11:59am on Friday, June 7.*

*Any receipts that are not legible, not included, or believed to be fraudulent will be disqualified. Limited to one promotion per person.

Here is a wonderful interview done with the author as well. Found here.

The Pressure is Off Mom - Growing in the Grace of Parenting

I find it interesting that when my biological children were the age of our soon to be adopted son they were expressing great love for God. They knew in some ways that they were sinners who needed a Savior. They delighted in following after Jesus. This was their life. This is what they lived. This is what they were taught.

Our little man has a tiny interest in the things of God. It worries my heart. I am not sure why except that I know if you taste and see the Lord is good there is no where else to go! When you see His beauty there is not greater thing. I desire him to understand this too even in just a little way that a 4 year old can. I want him to desire to do what is right in response to this.

Yet the danger in this is moralism. I could demand him to tow a strict line of rules. I could try to share the joy of Jesus in following these rules. This however is not right. It is backwards. We follow the rules with joy when we know His love for us. When we know how deeply blessed we are because He chose us! Little man cannot see this yet. In fact I fear some of my older children's obedience comes from moralism.

I am so thankful that God is opening my eyes to some things as I get another chance at parenting a young one.

1-It is not up to me for my children to come to know Jesus--God is sovereign.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God" (Ephesians 2:8). Of course I need to share the good news. I need to authentically walk it out. I need to show the love of Christ to them. But only God can move in their hearts. Of course he does not know how to respond, he was never taught but this is good. He will be less likely to cling to the rules in order to be good. His heart is more honest. I am fully convinced that parenting keeps us completely dependent on Christ if we truly desire to see fruit in our children's lives. We know we cannot make the fruit grow. We must trust as we watch and wait in faith as we faithfully do the watering and planting.

2-Moralism and right living does not get to the true heart of the matter. This is a dangerous place to live for it is saturated with idolatry. Your identity is in the ability to be "good" rather than "hidden in Christ." Instead we need to know that He was good, the only one good enough to keep all the rules, and by His sacrifice and trading places with us we are saved. Not by perfection but by grace through what He has done on our behalf. Period.

3-Parenting by threat or guilt is not going to work over time. 
You may get some immediate results but they will not last. If we threaten our children and rule by fear they will only become moralist who outwardly behave but inwardly curse us. We are raising hypocrites, pharisees with this type of parenting.

If we use guilt we raise people pleasing kids who only desire to do what makes others like them or find value in them. Identity in what others think of them, which is idolatry, not in Christ alone.

My oldest daughter asked me once, "Mom does Jesus yell at me?" Oh that crushed me. I knew she was seeing Jesus as she saw me in her life. The irritable mom who snaps words and commands in a not so friendly tone. I replied, "NO! Jesus does not yell at us or treat you the way I do. I am so sorry I need Him to move and change me as much! Let's ask Him to help Mommy."

Moms, pray for your children.God will move and work in their hearts as you faithfully live and disciple them. Show them the love of Jesus but when you mess up don't condemn yourself for there is no condemnation for us in HIM. Just get back up and move forward. Only Jesus could do this perfectly. Let your children know that you need the gospel as much as them. It is never too late. Be faithful. Ask God to help you.

So truly the pressure is off, it is not up to me. God has got this under His sovereign control. He is working in the secret places of all of my children's hearts as much as He is in mine. He is moving us from one degree of glory to another as we look to Him and what He has done. There is amazing beauty in His sacrifice for us while we were still sinners. He did this with joy that was set before Him. He saw us redeemed and that kept Him nailed there. That kept Him silent when attacked. What amazing love! May we understand this more fully so we can spread it to our children and all the others He places around us.