Lessons on Friendship

I had a best friend through high school. We spent all our time together. It was an unhealthy relationship I now see because it was exclusive. We hang out with others some but spent most of our time consumed with ourselves and making fun of others. But we were tight. I was secure with her.

Then I started to make some other friends because classes kept us apart. I see it as a God thing now. He was protecting us from co-dependency what is so easy to fall into as a female. I made some good friends but my best friend stayed the same. I then found a boyfriend and that even took us further apart however we were still close. I thought. It was very difficult on her to see me get married. I was not going to let it change our friendship though. It was a hard time. As I made other friends as well she resisted this mostly as I could tell. I did not understand. I was not sure if I was betraying a friend in having other friends. I did not understand friendship.

Then as time went on she got married. Things were good. We had more in common both being married. But then I decided to have children. Though she loved my children it brought distance. She was not interested in children. And then our friendship ended. Circumstantially we lost touch. Our lives took different directions. This left a void in my life.

Facebook has been a good way to reconnect with other friends I had the opportunity to make in high school. I had such good times with them. I am so thankful for that. I am thankful I did not stay exclusive with one friend. So my concept of friendship seems more open. Yet I realize not everyone you think will be there for you when you need them. That is what kind of surprises you. But when trials come you get to see who really will be there for you. Who truly sticks close to you in friendship.

I am so thankful for those people who I know faithfully pray for me, leave me a kind word, text me, call me, bring me a meal, send me a card, drive me places, or clean my house. These are the people that can be counted on and can be called friend. All who serve in their different ways. They are the ones who are there and who intentionally care. I guess that is what friendship is. I am still trying to figure it out.

I do see examples though through the Bible like, Naomi and Ruth. Though the Bible does not specifically say it I bet Naomi played a big part in Ruth's life before Ruth served her so in her hard times. I see this clearly in some friends. Like Naomi I have thrown my pity parties and have had friends watch and pray and stick by me still. They are not afraid of my mess. They love me deeper still. That is real friend ship.

Or I also see the example of Mary and Elizabeth. How they were both going through the same thing bringing children in extreme circumstances in the world. A common goal. Learning from and encouraging one another. I see this in my special needs friends. We spur one another on in these special and sometimes extreme circumstances.

Then I see Jonathan and David. These are covenant friends who are there for the distance. These are the friends who are REALLY there. They will go the distance. They are the few, the proud, the marines of friends God provides. I mean the kind who are there for you when your father is trying to kill your bestie you warn them. That is true lasting friendship. These are the people who would take my kids into their homes when I am no longer around because of our deep and lasting friendship. I have a few of these. I can see. Through trials and time and distance you can see these are really true friends who really stick. A blessing indeed.

On Facebook we have many "friends" but who of those really care about you? Who are intentional? And if you do do you let them know? Otherwise it does not matter anyway. People need to know they are cared about. Don't save it for the funeral. Love deeply and love well. We do such a poor job with this. Let people know. Time is short. We do not have forever.

Any thoughts? I really want to understand friendship better. I am curious as to what it looks like to you.

A Wonderful Gift

You know God is so good and when you think He cannot get any better He always shows off! I am so in love with Him. Not because of what He does for us but because of who He is. I cannot imagine a life without this most wonderful relationship.

If you are a regular reader here, you know life has been really difficult for us lately. Due to my husband's recent diagnosis of Chiari 1 Malformation of the brain, one day everything was fine and the next our lives were severely change. Many things have been affected for us. The best word to describe our life right now is "hard." But despite the hard times, God is good. He is constant and never lets us down. His grace has been sufficient and He is our strength.

Then someone asked me to consider asking the deacons to pray for Tony. I thought about this because of what it says in the book of James. "If anyone is sick he should call on the elders to pray." I just could not ask. I knew I could not stand any other disappointments in my life and the off chance that I was given a no or just brushed off would have devastated me. You see the body of Christ, his bride, is suppose to operate as Scripture states. Often times I observe this not happening. Like the Casting Crowns song states,

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

What I did instead is take this to God. I asked Him to work this out if that was His will. He knows my fragile state and I poured it all out to Him. I was okay with whatever happened. God stirred the hearts of some of these men. They came over tonight to minister to and pray over my husband.

I am so in awe of God. Men need other men to minister to them. There is something that is so beautiful in that. I am just praising God for working that out and proving to me again that there are more out there, then I observe, with hearts for Him. We are the body and we all need one another. This simple act of faith immediately brought some healing to me. I am believing God for the healing of my husband's condition they way He sees fit.

True Worship in Spirit and Truth

My soul has been deeply craving some real worship. Not the typical kind you get from Sunday to Sunday, but that deep anointed type of corporate worship. If you have ever experienced it you know what I am talking about. The kind where the worship leaders just usher you into the presence of the Lord. The kind where you can just minister to God through your worship. The kind where the atmosphere is thick with Him. Others can try to quench it but it is unquenchable because it is so thick. The kind where you just praise Him unrestrained (don't lose me here-there was no running the isles-this is a Baptist church). Where you just know He is there. Where you just tremble before Him. Oh that kind of worship is what I deeply have desired for too long now. Today I got it.

A group came to our church called Wings of Morning. They are young adults who give up a year of their lives to go from place to place to minister to people in the name of our Lord. They are missions focused, taking the gospel to wherever God leads. These students not only give up a year (or more) of their lives for this but also raise their own support to do it.

No wonder they had that wonderful anointing on them. They are living in complete obedience fully abandoned to Him. It is an admirable thing and as my friend Stephanie always says, radical obedience follows radical blessings. They are being a pleasing aroma and sacrifice unto the Lord just like Christ (Ephesians 5).