Blessed Are The Peacemakers...Holiday Edition

 

 

Every Christmas, I remember drama when my extended family got together for the holidays. It unsettled a young me. However, these times were used by God to draw me close to Him, like a magnet to metal.

I remember retreating to a sky light window, the closest place I thought I could get to God. I cried out to God. I didn't know at the time what I was doing but I believe now it is what God desires us to do (pray) in the face of conflict.

Conflict, in and of itself, is not bad. We all have varying opinions and perspectives. It is healthy. We learn from one another. However, conflict is bad when it turns into fights and quarrels. It is bad when it is not loving or assuming the best of the other party. The evil of it comes from our hearts.

                                            WISDOM FROM JAMES

What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don't they come from your passions that wage war within you? You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and don't receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. James 4:1-3, CSB

God doesn't pull any punches. His word shows us exactly from where the trouble comes; within us. And if it comes from within us, why do we fight with others? Maybe it would make better sense to fight within ourselves.

WHAT THEN DO WE DO WITH CONFLICT?

Practically, how does this play out at our various gatherings?

In the face of conflict, how do we respond?

The main question to ask is, what is most loving in this situation?

We must wrestle with our own hearts and honestly ask, why do I want to fight about this? Is it a selfish motive? Do I want to win? What do I want? Do I want to be right? Do I want the best for that person? Do I just like to hear myself argue? Am I representing Christ well as I disagree?

We must make our own hearts submit to Christ. This is when we cry out to God and ask for the grace to humble ourselves. We must walk as He did and die to our own selfish motives for the sake of love.

Further on in James it explains, "But he gives greater grace. Therefore he says:

God resists the proud,

but gives grace to the humble.

Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. 

Don't criticize one another, brothers and sisters. Anyone who defames or judges a fellow believer defames and judges the law. If you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:6-12, CSB.

We must learn to humble ourselves before a mighty God. The one and only proper judge will convict and work in the persons heart with whom you disagree. At the same time God will work in your own heart. There is no room for pride in Christian love.

Now, what if there is a certain family member who just won't let peace reign?

You can walk lovingly in grace toward them and refuse to engage. The best thing to do is say, "that is an interesting viewpoint." If they persist just ask non defensive questions (your tone goes a long way). Questions like, "How did you come to that conclusion?" What makes you so passionate about this point?" Seek to understand. In doing this, it may give you room to speak into their life as well. 

However, most importantly, we need to keep our eyes focused on Christ. When we remember what He did for us, the lengths and depths of love He has for us, what He endured for our salvation, we can die to our own self. He will give us the grace. Just remember and ponder;

Philippians 2:6-11

Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,

6 who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God
as something to be exploited.
7 Instead he emptied himself
by assuming the form of a servant,
taking on the likeness of humanity.
And when he had come as a man,
8 he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death—
even to death on a cross.
9 For this reason God highly exalted him
and gave him the name
that is above every name,
10 so that at the name of Jesus
every knee will bow—
in heaven and on earth
and under the earth—
11 and every tongue will confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father. 

When a Family Prays Together

This new year's eve our family tried something new. It was decided by my husband that we would all take time to pray for one another and the upcoming new year. We are a family, so we see the most of one another in our best and our worst. This means we have eyes to see the things that we most need help with. I expected this to be a short exercise but as each person took their turn to pray very personally and intimately about the other family members it ended up being almost an hour long ordeal.

This was the most beautiful thing I have seen in 2015. It was busting with love, confession, and grace. We were honest and real with our struggles and desire for more grace to change more into Christ likeness. Forgiveness was sought; humility reigned. There were things I didn't even realize others knew about themselves that were revealed. And the most beautiful thing was that we can help one another by our prayers.

"You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many." ~2 Corinthians 1:11

What if we just took the time to do this on a more regular basis? Hearts would change toward one another. God would move in bigger ways in our hearts. We would be more focused on Him. This is an activity I hope we engage in more often but instead of just focusing prayer on our family that we expand it out to praying for others. Maybe monthly a topic could be given and we would prepare our prayers around that? It is a great start in lessons on dependence on God and I am so thankful for that moving experience.

I hope this new year is a more prayerful year because prayer instills dependence and intimacy with God more naturally in our hearts which is an opportunity for more growth in grace. And I am thankful that "he gives more grace" because I am learning to splash around in it more and more. 

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours

It has been a whirlwind of a year!!! We pray your Christmas is filled with His great blessings!

How to Not Burn Out Before You Start: Missions

(Sorry this is highlighted in white...Cannot figure out how to change it...)

It has been six months since my husband returned from the land that our hearts desire to pour our lives into. Six months. Though on the grand scheme of things this time is not that long of a period, yet to us it seems like an eternity. Yet the Bible says, " But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day" (2 Peter 3:8).

Also His word says that, " And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth,having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place" (Acts 17:26).

We can assure our hearts that our entire life, which if we hit the unlikely ripe age of 100 years old, would only be a tenth of a day in God's time scheme. Just a tiny fraction for all those 100 years. So our six months is just a scratch in that light. 

God is kind in preparing us. He is teaching us so much as we wait.

• He is teaching us to depend on one another more as a family unit. 
• He is teaching my husband and I to be better friends. 
• He is helping us learn that God is patient and moves in perfect timing and wisdom.
• He is is teaching us how to adapt in cross cultural ministry.
• He is helping us to see and cherish people right where we are in the present moment.
• He is teaching us to love and trust His greater plan more.
• He is teaching us to hold our plans loosely.
• He is teaching us that prayer is the most important preparation, through vulnerable, dependent, child-like trust in our Father.

We are clearly being trained in the wait. We know that He will move us out when He is ready. He has already determined our boundaries and periods after all. In this we can trust as we wait right where we are and love this present city of Chattanooga well.

With all that we are learning I think we can conclude that the way we do not burn out is by keeping our eyes fixed on our Savior. In beholding His beauty we can trust His greater plan in our lives for every moment. As we do this we must do the next thing that He sets in front of us because every moment of our lives, every breath we take, is for the greater purpose of serving Him, bringing Him glory and enjoying Him forever right where we are planted. So we wait in joy and hope because the One who places dreams and plans in our hearts is the One who will see them through in their proper timing and way.

Social Media and Our Children

I am over at The End In Mind talking about social media and our children. You can read the full article HERE. It will link you to both articles that were recently written on the topic. I am very curious of your thoughts and policies regarding media with your own children. Let me know. It is a learning process for sure.

Last month I posted about contentment and social media here. The conversation needs to continue now because my daughter just turned that “magical” age of 13 where you are “legally” allowed to have a Facebook page. I am really trying to learn to walk this thing out with her being the second generation of social media. It is hard to believe that I was the first generation. I am still trying to figure it out myself but as I do I need to help her in this new online world that is at times more influential than the real world. READ MORE.

I Used to Wish I Was Jewish

Our son was adopted into our family last June. This process helped me to understand more fully my adoption into the family of God. I am so thankful for this deeper understanding.

I used to wish I was Jewish because more than anything I wanted to have the same family background as Jesus. It literally hurt my heart to think I was far from His nationality being my German/French/English background self.

Then I realized that His choice and His decision was to adopt me. Adoption means that the adoptee gets all the benefits of the family he or she is adopted into. They get the heritage as well. This just blows me away. So, I am as Jewish as Jesus is by my identity and adoption into His family. I love that.

Let me share how I realized this. We recently had a family reunion. There were shirts and hats printed up with our family name on them. My son, through adoption has our family name legally now but I was fearful that he would not be accepted as one of the family by all of the family.

I watched as the family embraced him as their own. He was never excluded or shunned or made to feel less than. He was a true member of the clan. He got to share in our craziness and heritage like it was actually his own. My heart delighted in this sight and it was through watching this that God showed me that Jesus family line IS my family line. I may look different on the outside but it is indeed my family line by adoption and that makes my heart full.

When God Says No to a Mother's Heart Cry

I am guest posting over at Comfort in the Midst of Chaos Special Needs blog today. Here is a portion:

"Yet even when you do pray, your prayers are not answered, because you pray just for selfish reasons" (James 4:3, CEV).

"Please, God, Please don't let my daughter have autism," I cried out as the reality of it pierced my heart. It was a prayer I spoke silently in my heart several years prior. There were moments when I knew something was different. Those moments when all the toys had to be in a line perfectly or enduring fits thrown that seemed out of proportion because I had no idea what went wrong. These little but distinct things were things I secretly held in my heart and I cried out to God.
READ MORE.

Because Sometimes God Calls You To Go

Because God loves us and because He tells us to preach the gospel in all places, we feel compelled to do that as a family. The facts are that 90% of the people sharing the good news are located in North America. That leaves only 10% around the rest of the world and seriously the rest of the world contains more people (eternal souls) than those in North America alone. People need to be willing to go.

I write this to say that as a family we are feeling compelled and called to go. Here, in the city we have come to love and call home, the gospel is saturated. There are churches on every corner; literally. I pass more than a handful on the way to my church. Christ is evident here but there are many places where His good news has never been heard. This is where we are feeling called to go.

I am not writing this to make anyone else feel like they should go. God has specific plans for each of our lives and they are not all the same, however I do think each person should question where they should be and how they are reaching their neighbors and the nations. Sometimes we do get so comfortable that we ignore God's call. Don't do that either. We must be an intentional people who intentionally share the love and news of Christ with whoever God puts around us. Where you do this is between you and God.

Because our family is unique in make up there are only a few specific places, in this season, we believe are appropriate for us. God will show us how this will work and will pave the way. As we wait on Him to show us the final plans and confirm things for us we prepare to get ourselves in position to go. We are just a regular family who will be moving to a new place getting jobs there so we can live like we do here but being able to share life with those who have not heard the good news.

As we wait we love and share with those who God has placed before us. We help strengthen the church. We help believers grow in Him. We do what He puts before us. We all should be doing this. Not because it earns us anything but because He loves us so, He gave so much for us, from the response of His love we serve, we pour our lives out. We do this together little by little. It is a blessing to be a part of the body of Christ in this way, working together for His glory.

Will you pray for us as we move through this transitional phase of our lives? We would appreciate your prayers. We need perseverance because getting into position to be ready to go is not easy because it challenges our American attitude of excess and success. Pray for our fears regarding changes. Pray for our boldness in sharing. Pray we will be a blessing to whomever God allows us to partner with. Pray we will be united as a family in this. Pray we will love well. If you want more specific details on this just send me an email. This is an exciting and crazy time for us but we are all in.

Tragedy of Being Unequally Yoked and God's Grace - Our Story - 22 Years Out

We were out with a group of some friends and among them were a couple who were engaged. Our group was encouraged to answer questions about marriage so we could all talk about it with them. There are things you learn looking back and it was meant for encouraging them to see the important things during this time.

The first question was to name a precious memory from your wedding. For most this would be a simple thing. I mean a precious memory.... Yet my husband and I just looked at each other lovingly, knowing we are not who we once were all those years ago. We did not have "precious" memories.

For one I was a child! I was a mere 19 years old. He was just turning 21. Yet I was a Christian, a worldly one but I am convinced the Holy Spirit dwelled within me. My boyfriend was not a believer, but his life resembled mine a lot.

This is why this unequally yoked thing can be tricky. First, my boyfriend went to church with me. He got baptized and professed to believe. There was not any reason to doubt him, except those little things that bothered me but not him. Sin was something I was convicted of but he was not. That makes living together as one hard!

Where the Spirit was uprooting me from the throne of my life bit by bit, my husband was very content to be the ruler of the throne of his heart. Why is this? Because of the Spirit. Believers can look like unbelievers because the Spirit works in His timing. Believers change as He moves and we stay in step with Him. The beauty of it is Jesus did all that needed to be done and as we realize this more and more we are more apt to change and reflect Him.

This is the danger of legalism. Someone can look outwardly like a believer but their heart may not be changed. It is all in the heart. We cannot see the heart, only God can. It is so hard to tell sometimes.

No one around us knew that my husband was not sincere in his relationship with Jesus. In fact, either did he. It was only after spending time in the word and watching a life lived out sincerely for Jesus that he was moved in his heart to receive Christ.

As you can imagine being unequally yoked was hard! We were so young and living separate belief systems, honestly there was no reason for us to last. Yet God did right our wrong! He redeemed and restored! He healed! He took our mess and made it beautiful! I am so thankful for that. I can now look at the miracle of what He gave us and just be in awe! We are different people. We are His and only when we know we are so loved by Christ, understanding His sacrifice and resurrection from the dead on our behalf, can we serve and cherish one another well.

There is hope for our messes. You cannot out sin what God has planned for you. You cannot mess it up too bad. If you are His, He will work ALL things together for His glory and your good for all of us who belong to Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28-29). So though we cannot remember any precious memories from the past, now He has given us a far greater thing! His glory is seen HUGE when we look at what we were and I love my marriage and my man and see that it is good.

Pulling Back Out Hope for the Peaceful Home

I wrote this devotional book a year ago this month! It is hard to believe how time flies. However, I need to pull it out to do alongside my children again. Strife peaks time and again. We must remember that Christ is the center of our lives. We need to be reminded about putting Him back in the center.

All reasons of strife come from not living gospel centered lives. This will be good to refocus. Looking at writing one on living love next. I may ask you to join me if you are interested let me know and I will post it.

If you want to do this study alongside us you can get a copy of it in ebook form at the kindle store here.

A Bone Weary Season of Motherhood

I have a friend who often times looks at me and tells me I need to get some sleep. She can see it on my face. I am bone weary in this season most of the time. But sleep is not what will fix this. There is more.

I feel as if this season has me pouring out my life like a drink offering. I am being poured out--dry. In these seasons it is so hard to refill because you cannot pour out what you have not filled up. Like my lap top, it gets its charge and works diligently for me until that final drop of electric charge is done then it shuts off. This is me.

Yet I keep pushing this body of mine and if I cannot find rest I will malfunction. Like today. I almost ran away from home. Poured out dry like a desert floor. I feel as if I cannot do anymore. Simple requests start to send me over the edge. This should not be the case. I need REST.

Jesus is the perfect example of an older brother to follow. He poured out His life like this. He became tired. He left and got alone with the Father. I must do this, even if I have to put a towel over my head like Susanna Wesley. I cannot imagine having all the kids she had but when you factor special needs into account it actually ups the ratio for me.

I need to learn to rest. To run to Jesus and sit in His presence. To soak in His word even if everyone around me is screaming. I have an invitation to come away with Him and I will take it. It is that only way for my survival. Boundaries with my kids must be put in place too so I can take that life saving time so I can be filled up to pour it forth again.

The hardest part of this season is living in this continual grief. If you have a special needs child I think traveling through the grief process is continual. Grief is exhausting. The death of dreams and normalcy continually pop up like a jack in the box. You anticipate it but they suddenly pop up and catch you off guard so you grieve.

Yet as Paul, we can "be sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." We can remember God has a plan greater than we think or imagine. He is a good Father and only gives good gifts to His children. So we sit in trust and soak in His presence. Then we move forward again, pour out, fill up. Remember the importance of filling up. Take time to worship God. Get alone. Talk to a friend. Do something you enjoy. Take a walk. And most importantly it is a season. It to will pass.

If you are in a weary season too, learn to rest in HIM. Let us pray for one another in this season.

Two Years with Isaiah (God Saves)

I cannot believe how our life has been flipped upside down with the addition of this little boy! It still all seems like a crazy blur but I love it! I would not change a thing! Adoption has changed all our lives completely in hard ways but in good ways. This little boy that God so loved and had in mind for our family has rocked our world in ways we did not know we could be rocked.

We named him God saves, but see, God used him to save us in many ways. When you live life day by day you start to just fall into complacency. It just happens and he woke us up. 

I asked our little guy what he loves most about each of us and he says,

"That we love him and hug him." He is so cute!

I know that moving forward it may be hard. I still see delays in him. I know the reality of adoption and its brokenness. He knows he has living birth parents and loves them but keeps telling me he has lived with us his entire life. We both know that is not true but perhaps it is a way for him to adjust at his age. He has much life to know the truth and walk in it.

My absolute favorite thing is watching him grow spiritually. He is concerned about his sin toward others when at first he could care less. He loves God and sees how important God is to us. He fits in so perfectly with us, like he was meant for us all along. I do not know how it will all look as he interacts with all of his family, birth or adoptive, but I feel positive about it. I don't think it can hurt anyone to be loved by so many. As long as we can keep his best interest at heart.

Posting at Comfort in the Midst of Chaos Today

I love this ministry that encourages families that have children with special needs. You must check them out if you have not already. You can find them here.

I am posting about a heavy heart laced with weighty grace. Here is a preview:

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

    I have called you by name; you are mine.

2 

When you go through deep waters,

    I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

    you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

    you will not be burned up;

    the flames will not consume you.

3 

For I am the Lord, your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" (Isaiah 43b-43:3a, NLT).

My life often feels like a puzzle with a missing piece. Things appear to be fitting in place like the beautiful box picture but then something happens and a piece is missing again. Smooth sailing takes a back seat for another day. It is disturbing. It is a heaviness my heart feels like it cannot take. READ MORE.

Some Thoughts on the Limited TV Decision

I know this really sounds ridiculous because it is happening so soon after our decision to cut Disney Channel and most television but my kids have actually been very polite and caring toward one another the past two days. It has been incredible; almost miraculous. I don't know if I was just letting too much junk into their hearts or what? It does seem to correlate. What we are doing different:

1-We have had some extensive conversations about God and family. What God says about our hearts, minds and attitudes and why it even matters. This has been fruitful.

2-We have been praying more for their hearts and minds; praying more fervently and urgently.

3-I am helping them rediscover their strengths, talents and abilities. They are finding their creative selves again through this. Just yesterday they drew, produced a cooking show, made up board games, practiced photography, read, helped one another accomplish goals, made me a fun coupon book, and so much more.

Their attitudes have changed! It is almost too hard to believe for now and I am still skeptical but I do think clearing the garbage from entering their minds has helped.

I did not realize how much it was hurting them and here is why I believe it was actually assaulting their minds.

When we watch television we are either active observers or passive observers. Walt Disney himself knew this. When producers make good television shows or movies they make shows that provide passive observers an escape. It is a form of enjoyable leisure. There is nothing wrong with this unless, of course, all you do is watch television; everything in moderation.

This can become a problem with passive observers, who make up the majority of people. If you are a passive observer you do not usually see the agendas seeping into programming. It is information your brain is processing and it goes into your heart. Everything does. It has the power to influence. Why do you think comedies make you laugh? And are you  not in a better mood after watching one? Then after a tragedy, you are typically sad. That is one reason why I do not make a habit of watching the  news. It is so depressing. They focus on the sad or bad stories most of the time. I often feel bad after watching and at times I am tempted to doubt God's sovereignty.

Now I am an active watcher so as I process the incoming information I am always trying to figure out what the producers angle is? What is their agenda? What messages are they trying to get across? You can learn a lot about writers and producers this way. I am looking at motivations all of the time. I know it is weird. I thought this was normal and how everyone watched programs.

Because I am an active observer there are not many things that influence me. Take that ability and match it up with the large arsenal of God's word and it guards me sufficiently. However, these young hearts I have been given charge over do not have this same arsenal of God's word grounded in them yet. They also are probably passive observers. And the one with autism is trying to figure out social interaction in this world too easily takes this information in as a "how to behave in the world" lesson.

Naturally, I can only conclude that taking out the poison, though so soon, has caused their hearts to heal some. They are able to refocus on God and His ways. They are free to love and that not be strange. They can be friends. What an amazing outcome thus far. Really they did not watch too much television in the first place, however the qualities of the shows were poor. We still watch some things at times. We just are choosing to really guard hearts based on how each one is made. It is almost embarrassing to admit it took me this long to see it.

Disney Channel Portrayed Content that Helped Us Cancel Our Cable

                                                         Picture taken from disney.fi


Tonight, we were viewing the on-demand episode of Good Luck Charlie titled, Down a Tree. It is scheduled to air next Sunday the 26th at the regular viewing time. It started out like every other show but side swiped us when Charlie had a play date with a friend who had two mommies. They try to make light of it introducing it as normal. Also it does go into how long the couple has been together and when they adopted their child. Things that I don't even know about the other kids best friends parents like the Wentzes.

This makes me think that it is sneaking an agenda into the show and on to the channel. It happens subtlety, they sneak in the agenda quietly a little at a time so that these things push the limit. This was the last evidence we needed to make the call to cut off the cable.

I know it should not have taken me by surprise as it did, especially in light of the newer series on abc family called The Fosters that features a lesbian couple who are foster parents. Yet I felt I could trust Disney. I thought Disney was different. Especially in light of this family friendly show of Good Luck Charlie, a large family who love one another and strive to help one another. There are shows on the Disney channel that I do not let my children watch but many are not horrible.

Yet none of the shows on the Disney channel push my family closer to Christ. This should not surprise me because Disney is of the world. My husband and I have been seeing this for some time but this show pushed us over the top.

The media has the power to influence our thoughts. Most of the media is of the world. Of what benefit is it to watch these things? How many things on cable really point us toward Christ? We found it lacking.

Homosexuality is not an accepted lifestyle. It is not normal. It is not what God created. It should not be made to look normal before my young children. This is not because I hate those who practice this lifestyle. It is because I love them too much to let this issue go. I want them to know there is a better way. My heart breaks over the world's view on this topic these days.

Why does it matter anyway?
The point of marriage is to reflect an image of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5). This cannot be done in a same sex marriage. A same sex marriage is not fruitful. Each sex has been given specific roles to play that will complement one another well while bringing God great glory. The biblical instruction for marriage is for our good. And any violation to marriage purity is sin.

I don't want my kids to see living in sin as normal. It is for the world but not for those who belong to God. We have been given power through the Holy Spirit to rise above habitual sin. It breaks God's heart and broke Jesus body literally. That is enough for me to see that if something is not pointing me to God then it is not worth watching.

Day One of Simplifying - Journey to Simplicity

I am taking a break at the halfway point of office organization. This room has our school stuff, which is overflowing since we home school, home papers of necessity, which are magnanimous, various computer, gaming, and other randomness. There is probably too much stuff in this one space but it is the only location for it in this house. Throwing out, giving away, and selling unnecessary items is a must. Especially if we want to move forward to our goal of simplifying and serving the nations.

The problem with this is that it is tiring! And my younger children are not the most helpful when it comes to these type of situations. I tend to be a referee or mediator much of the time distracting me from the goal of simplifying. It is a non-stop roller coaster.

Though the fun parts of this work are those precious finds that take time to go through like old pictures and papers that the children made. They are fun to look and reminisce at.

I must remind myself that this is not a sprint kind of process but a marathon. It will take time. My husband reminds me that we are in this together. We are a team. We are one. I am thankful for his strength. God uses him to infuse strength into my weary bones. I am thankful for him.

The journey has just begun and to get through it is to keep the main goal my focus. We can do this in HIM!

A Strange Faith Filled Journey - Follow it This Year

"Wind's in the east, mist coming in, like something is brewing about to begin." This little quote from Marry Poppins is what I have been thinking about today. Change has been coming for quite some time but it was birthed in prayer. In prayer, change that you think God is stirring in your heart is exciting but then comes the time when faith has to hit your feet and you must walk in it; this is the scary yet exciting part.

The prayer period continues but walking this thing out is the next step. God is birthing something that we (Tony and I) can not tell you yet. We will inform as we can tell more, of course, but for now there are a few things we are doing in faith.

Last year we started getting our house ready to sell. We are almost there. Yet, a little debt was also acquired to get these things ready. We need to pay this off and earn enough for a few ministry related trips coming up for us. Again, we will say what we can when we know and we can.

I am so appalled by how much stuff we own! A friend and I have been talking about the need to simplify. In March it will be two years since we had the house fire. I realized then that I need very little to be okay, yet I look at all of this stuff. It is crazy to me! I, along with my friend, will be strategic on how to sell unneeded items. This is a must! We will challenge one another in this. I know this part will be painful yet comical.

I will give things away to others who need them.
I will be having garage sales with my friend.
I will be posting items for sale on various media outlets like Facebook or Amazon.

Really I do not need that much!

We have such a desire for women to be refreshed in their relationship with the Lord so we will also be using this for the ministry purposes of offering small retreats in order to do this. I am excited about serving women in this way! I hope you help us by spreading the word as we have more information available. 

I have been also feeling a desire to help those in poverty. Because of this I have partnered with Trades of Hope. This organization is amazing and helps so many people by empowering them so they can stay out of poverty and provide for their families. By supporting this ministry and selling their products I also can make a little income to put back into this ministry of refreshing others and mission trips our family has coming in the near future.

This blog will take on a new look in order to help you navigate this stuff easier. I really hope you will partner with us in prayer! God used your prayers to help so much in our adoption adventure! Of course we would not refuse a financial partnership either for these things but I cannot even tell you enough to give you a clear conscience about that yet! Buy from Trades of Hope, Buy our ebooks from Amazon, or buy our well used stuff we post to sell. This will help. Spread the word about it. That will help. We must partner with one another in the gospel. I appreciate any help you can give. Mostly I just ask for some faithful prayer partners because the things we are sensing are crazy dreams and we need clear direction and wisdom. 

The other challenge and step is for us to learn Arabic. We do not fully know why but we are being faithful. I know God will show us the fruit of this. I am actually seeing a little fruit because I have made some Arabic speaking friends this year. 

So for now this is vague and where we stand. When you wonder why I am selling so much and trying to earn income in these various ventures for our ministry it all boils down to these things. As we know more we will share. Our one need now is this; Prayer Partners.

If you can agree to partner with us in prayer for this year I would like to know. Please send me a message. I can send you regular prayer updates. I really need your help. We are excited at what God is doing!

A Broken System - Something Must Change

There is a 13 year old boy I know but instead of doing normal 13 year old boy things he is worried. He worries daily about the rejection he has experienced all his life. People have not come through for him the way they should have. He sits by watching as the others close to him are placed in homes while he remains homeless.

This is the reality for many kids in the United States. The governmental system for child welfare is broken. Honestly, it is not the governments place to be in charge of children. If families would stand up and help other families in need then these situations could change.

During my college years, I observed this system that was very broken up close as I practiced social work. I watched as children who would thrive in a home were overlooked. They just aged older every year until they aged out of the system. Then these children who were not raised in stable homes are now expected to function as adults in an unforgiving society. Many of them repeat patterns of the past resulting in crime and unexpected pregnancy. It is a cycle that we need to get a handle on.

Honestly it is not that difficult. If every family took the time to see the people around them and take the time to help, "the system" would not exist. We, instead, are selfish and keep to ourselves not wanting to involve ourselves with other people. It is inconvenient and hard so most of us find it easier to turn our heads or let the government handle it.

I AM OVER THIS! There is a better way and I am going to explore this through a series of posts. I hope you join me! I hope it spurns your hearts on to take a stand for the sake of our children.

I Don't Like Being A Parent

There I said it. It is so very hard to live in a world among people who just look like they have it all together. I mean, they are all joyous and happy all the time. Their kids sacrifice for others without complaint or squabbling. They say yes, maam or yes, sir when given a task. This is what drives me insane. Yes, insane is the right word as I sit here typing trying to figure out if I need to go to the hospital over my mental state.

As a mother, I love my children. I pour my life out for them daily, almost moment by moment. However, when I think that love will be reciprocal, I am dead wrong. They fight. They argue and complain about simple requests I give them. They treat the stranger in the store so much nicer than a sibling.

All I can think of is that I did this. Somehow there is something so deficient in my parenting that I have failed. I have tried so many different things with them from charts and kind words to rewards and special treats. I have even experimented with yelling or not yelling--no difference. None of it works. None. I am not sure why I am even surprised by this either. Sin is the cause of all behavior issues and it is rooted deeply in the heart. Shedding it takes time, it is a process. Therefore, I am feeling powerless and I just want to give up.

Have you felt that way before? Have you? Am I the only ill-equipped and deficient mom out there sitting and wondering why so many others look like they have it all together while I am here eating my tears? Seriously, I am eating them because I sacrificed a nice piece of pizza earlier simply because I knew the children wanted it. In turn, that is what a good mom does? Sacrifice, right?

I just cannot help but to think that, really, I have missed the point. Keeping an outside of a cup clean does not mean the deep recesses of the interior is. I need to press forward and keep at the target of the heart. When I do this we will never appear to have it all together. We were never meant to. It is grace that I depend on and trust my Father knew what He was doing in giving me these children. He knows what it took to pay for sin.

I am writing here as a mom who has her hands up. I surrender. I give up. There is absolutely nothing I can do with this. Only my Father in heaven can move in their hearts. I press into Him. I beg Him to show me something happening in those dark places and I have the faith to know He will do it for it is He who has done a good work in them that will see it on to completion. He will see it through. He must! It is His work.

However, it is trusting by faith He will do this. I want the change now and I understand this is a process so what do I do in the meantime when I am seriously struggling with what to do with them? As a mom surrendered I must also walk what this looks like out before their eyes. I must admit my own heart struggles and my desperate need for a Savior. Through watching their father and I they will learn how this process goes. We can model what true humility and brokenness over sin looks like. Then model the joy of a Savior who was so in love with us He chose to die anyway.

I think the real reason why I do not like being a parent is because I don't like discipline. I want to be more of a friend maybe but I cannot be, not at this time. It also robs me of my comfort. It challenges my need to control. It certainly depletes my approval rating. However, in the end, I must trust that they will see it was all for their better good. As the law was put in place for the children of Israel to see their great need for a Savior. It is too hard to try to obey. We all need a Savior.

Our Savior is One who pours forth grace, enough for each moment. I must trust by faith how I will get through the next day. That day has the grace needed of its own. He will be trustworthy to pour it out on me then. He is a good Father. He never leaves or forsakes us. He isn't even shaking His head at me now as I struggle with being a mother. He is not judgmental like that because all sin was judged on the cross. He is well pleased with me in Christ. I take the grace He has given now freely and trust He will provide the grace I need the next moment. I trust He will use every bit of my mess to beautify something in our lives. He is good like that. Maybe even one day He will show me how to delight in being a parent, even in the pain and sacrifice. For He is working in my heart too. Uprooting sinfulness, exposing the dark places in my heart. He is truly teaching me how to love the unlovely.

Mom, do you struggle with liking the parenting thing too? There is hope for us. God is the perfect Father to us. He delights in us. He will help us to learn that perfect balance as well. We can trust that. Let us pray for one another. We will get through this well in HIM. In HIM alone for it is the only way.

God Did Not Make Us All To Fit The Same Mold - Aspergers in Church

Joy fills my heart as I sing gratitude for my King beside my daughter. My mind is overjoyed at the goodness of God and all He has done. I am thankful that my family feels the same. I glance over and smile at my daughter and then I see my husband all together praising our Savior.

Yet someone is missing. I look down. I see her. Expressionless. Sitting quietly occupying herself with the ipad. It would seem to the outsider that this child is just not interested in the things of God. Or perhaps that her parents are not responsible because they don't make her stand up and sing along with everyone else.

My heart sinks. It starts again, that dialogue I have often with God over this. Why does it make me sad that she doesn't fit the mold of everyone else? I don't know. I love sitting in the back row so no one can see this struggle. Otherwise I start feeling like I might be judged. I know many parents who would never think of letting their kid just sit there like that playing on a device and I respect that. Daughter number one is not allowed to do this, but, daughter number two is different. She is not neurotypical. Many factors on any given day in a group setting cause her to turn more inward. I cannot predict them.

What I do know is my sweet child absolutely loves the Lord. She unashamedly praises Him alone in the house or in the car. She loves learning about her Savior and His word and wants to live it out. She has a huge heart and desires to please her parents and God. However there is something about the group dynamic that is difficult for her to do the same.

I as a mom to a special needs child must remember that it doesn't matter what anyone else may think. I have to talk myself also out of condemning thoughts over this. I must do what is best for my child. I am glad she gets to sit in service, which is a huge deal for her. Even though she keeps occupied with the ipad, she surprises me by repeating things that were meaningful to her through the sermon. I know she hears and listens but I need to be okay with her way. The way God made her. The way He made her different than the majority. Her difference is special and unique and I want to embrace it.

I think this may be one of the reasons many special needs families find church difficult. Sensory overload is something that will cause an unexpected and immediate break down or tantrum. Neurotypical people cannot always predict how or when sensory overload will happen. Neurotypical people cannot understand this overload and response either. I am just thankful my girl has learned how to cope in church using the ipad. I think it helps her avoid this overload that she is very sensitive to.

If you see a child in church playing on a device, don't judge. There is probably more going on than you think. Don't think that child is not hearing the message or not interested in the things of God either. Again, you cannot know what is going on in anothers mind. Don't give the parents a hard time when they allow their child to play on a device like this through service. Again, you have no idea what is going on in their family. Love them. Get to know them. Find out what would best help their special needs child.