Do Your Children Fear Punishment?

Let me ask you a question:

Are you more apt to get angry with your child when she spills red nail polish if

it is on white carpet or on an old towel?

What is the difference? Why is one harder to stomach than the other?

I have been pondering things like this in my own heart. I have noticed that if my child does something that is wrong, (mostly as an accident) I respond based on how I feel. This is not how it should be!

An example of this is if my child spills the nail polish on the floor and has the capability to clean up their own mess then I do not get angry. An accident occurred and was remedied. No effort on my part.

However if the child spills this staining liquid and it requires much effort on my part to remedy the situation like getting out the stain cleaner and working on this stain over and over for a while I tend to be angry.

In each situation the problem was the child spilling something. They are already saddened or upset that it happened. My response should be kindness. Always. No matter how I feel. No matter how it affects me.

These verses I have been pondering for a long time;

"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first."

1 John 4 17-19, The Message 

It is so rich! I do not want my children to make a simple mistake and then look up with fear because they do not know if I am going to "punish" them or not. Yet when we mess up in some way we, if in Christ, never have to fear God's "punishment" toward us. He simply says to us, Christ has taken all your punishment on the cross already, get up and move forward child. I love you. Simply astounding.

To be that example to my children I need to remember Christ's substitute for my punishment. If I am hidden in Him I never have to fear it. His love is never changing or stopping regardless of what I do. As I meditate on Him, He will mold my heart to respond more like Him toward my children. We can only love this way because He first loved us. It is an overflow of the love that He pours out to us.