Tales of Parenting My ADHD Child

Fathers are told not to exasperate their children. However, at times I feel like my children are the ones who exasperate me! But then I am quickly reminded that foolishness abounds in the heart of a child. It is something that is just there. It is something that needs training and instruction. Add that with a sinful nature and then a sprinkle of ADHD and you have lots of problems. Now in my instance I can also add a shake of OCD and a pinch of impulse control issues. What a delightfully difficult mixture to work with!

God does know what He is doing. He created this child. He made her fearfully and wonderfully. She is absolutely perfect in His eyes and was entrusted to a very selfish mother. I easily exasperate because I expect what I want done to be done immediately and without question. This may work for the “normal” child but it does not work so well for my little bundle of joy. I am learning how to correct her the way that makes real change—change of the heart.

On Sunday at our church children who are five and up sit with their parents in the main church service. To an ADHD child’s mind this can be torture. My selfishness is continually exposed because I don’t want to look bad as my child struggles. I continually have to confess this and ask for God’s grace. When I focus on Him and what He desires for this child I come back to training her in the way that works for her. It does not matter what that may look like to others around me.

Tips and tools I use as I struggle through are:

• An occasional snack
• Listening games
• Discussing themes that I know she understands about the sermonGiving her her fidget noiseless toy to hold and quietly play with
• Remind her the purpose for church (to corporately worship God)
• Praise her for her efforts of listening and sitting still
• Removing her to an environment outside where we can listen with less pressure to sit still
• Pay attention to my child’s cues (I know when she is struggling more or less by observation)

Those are just a few things. I know she desires to grow in this area so we work it out together. I am thankful for her and what she teaches me in this process. So instead of being exasperated I am thankful as long as I focus on the important things. We are both learning and are better off for it.