God Does Care about Impulse Control Issues

At times I do find myself in the sin of worry for my daughter. With all this stuff we are discovering, comes an impulse control issue. In her brain there is just not the same thing that mine has that tells me to stop doing something. It is like a filter that weeds out those things for me but hers is missing.

Of course this presents difficulty in dealing with sin issues. I wonder often what is sinful behavior and what is impulse issues. The discipline has to be different here. I need discernment to know between the two. Then today I was reading through Numbers and read about safety for those with impulse issues. See this is nothing new. And God made them the way He did for specific reasons. He is the perfect potter.

Numbers 35:22-25 (NLT) states regarding murder,
²² “But suppose someone pushes another person without having shown previous hostility, or throws something that unintentionally hits another person, ²³ or accidentally drops a huge stone on someone, though they were not enemies, and the person dies. ²⁴ If this should happen, the community must follow these regulations in making a judgment between the slayer and the avenger, the victim’s nearest relative: ²⁵ The community must protect the slayer from the avenger and must escort the slayer back to live in the city of refuge to which he fled. There he must remain until the death of the high priest, who was anointed with the sacred oil.

Isn't that interesting? I don't have to worry about my daughter. God has got her. If He provided something like this, a city of refuge for incidences like these then we can get through these smaller issues. He knew that these things would happen. He provided safety for the one who was impulsive. There are still consequences for the actions because they are uprooted and moved to the city of refuge for a time but reading about anyone else who intentionally commits murder, they lose their lives for it.

I love that God provides a way for all things. This passage eased my mind. God is sovereign and He has all the days of my daughters life in His hands and worked out. He planned these from the beginning of time and nothing is a surprise to Him.

Please Don't Tell Me My God is Not Personal

"Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs." ~Zephaniah 3:17

As I have been doing this Bible study with Dee Brestin and some wonderful ladies over at her blog,
God has been showing me a sin of needing approval from others that is alive and well in my heart. I did some things to try to remove it in obedience. I thought I was doing pretty good. In one area I had this under control yet it snuck up in another area!

Oh our hearts are so easily deceived! Lately I have been seeking approval from others about my daughters condition with aspergers. As a mother I want affirmation or approval from others that this is indeed what she has. A mom knows her children best afterall, yet most people do not see this in her. They know she is a little different but don't see aspergers clearly. Yet based on all my research I know what is going on with her. Others have limited time and contact with her. I know. I have God's approval in this because He is the one that has been leading us down this path to find help for our family.

On our way to church tonight I was discussing what God revealed to me to my husband. Wondering why I feel a need for others approval or affirmation. I resolved to give this to the Lord. I knew I did not need any ones approval or affirmation on this journey. I released it. Whatever happened we would work with this and research as parents to give her the best possible help.

There was a concert at our church. Do you know that the guy singing wrote a song for a family going through this process of thinking their kid had aspergers. Then he sings this song to us. AMAZING! It was the assurance and approval that can only come from God. How amazing is that? God is so good. He gave us what we needed at the time we needed it. He is a very personal God. He is all we need and the only one we need approval from.

A Raw Post for a Raw Day

You know I have thought about whether this should be a journal post or a blog post and felt conflicted. Yet if we cannot be real with one another then really how can we help each other. This is just where I am at.

Today has been a rough day and I need to tell you I have been tempted in some rough ways. I feel like a complete failure as a mother. Working with a special needs child can sometimes be especially demanding, especially if no one else can see it clearly. You see with Aspergers there is not much time for a break. These children are highly social so they have many words and many questions, yet misunderstand so many social cues. This is a great source of sibling strife.

Seeing that my child needed much more today I spent more time with her. This is typical really. I just have to spend more time sometimes to meet her needs. Naturally this takes away from the other child. So she doesn't get the time that she really desires. She doesn't complain and sacrifices so much. I admire her really. I would probably be the kid stomping my foot demanding the attention I should get.

Today I felt like a complete failure again. We cried together. Yet there is nothing we can do to change this. Today we started counseling so maybe we will figure something out to help. Then we feel guilty for feeling this way in the first place because these behaviors cannot be helped. Yet I feel drained completely.

Lately we have had late nights. My sweet baby girl is having such a hard time falling asleep. When it rains or the wind blows or she has heard word of snow she cannot sleep. We are tired. We want her to be okay. Yet there is nothing we can do about it. Nothing. Now that is humbling. So where do we go from here?

This is where the temptations come in:
~I have been tempted to feel like I did something wrong in pregnancy...Blaming myself
~I have been tempted to be angry with God...He is saddened as well. He died because of sin. He loved us enough to die and raise again to defeat it. I should not be mad at Him.
~I have been tempted to blame God...There is no need to blame the potter who molded her into what she is. It is hard now but I know God has great plans. Just this tough spot is no reason to blame. The best is yet to come for all of us. He uses every bit of it. EVERY bit of it to shape us more like HIM.
~I have been tempted to just quit...My kids need me there is not quitting. That is completely selfish.

So I turn to the TRUTH. Never my feelings. Feelings are shallow. They can lead you into wrong thinking. They need to be redirected toward the truth. So this is what we do. We soak our minds into the Word of truth and pour out our hearts to the only one who can really help and heal. To our Father, the God of the universe who hears and loves us completely. Who heals and helps. Who is all we need. Truly.

"Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior." ~Psalm 27:9

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Memory Work Monday

So this week I have some trouble with my Philippians verses. This week I am working on the same ones again but adding the next chunk to my list. So my goal is big but the verses are Philippians 1:12-18 then 19-24.

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Six

So much can be said on prayer but this post wraps up this study. I will continue to write on the subject as God teaches me new things but for this little study. This will be it.

^"He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."
~2 Corinthians 1:10-11

Now these verses just amazingly address the power of prayer. God had delivered Paul from some crazy horrible things. Part of that deliverance came because people helped with prayers for him. How wonderful is that? If you ever need a passage to remind yourself that your prayers matter, memorize this one.

We must pray as God leads because when we do things happen. I do not know why God works alongside us in this way. He does not need us. He is all powerful. I think it is just part of His love for us and His desire for intimacy with us.

So believer, know prayer is a gift, privilege, and responsibility. Do it as God leads. It matters. We should be thankful for that.

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Five

"He went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people."
~Revelation 5:7-9

These passages are speaking of the very throne of God! Before Him are these four living creatures that continually worship Him. They are holding golden bowls filled with incense. What is the incense? It is the prayers of the saints! It is every prayer spoken by you and I. Isn't that amazing?

In the Old Testament tabernacle the priests would burn incense before the throne and this was just a shadow of this picture we see in Revelation. Here is what is said in Exodus about this incense.

"Put the altar in front of the curtain that shields the ark of the covenant law—before the atonement cover that is over the tablets of the covenant law—where I will meet with you.“Aaron must burn fragrant incense on the altar every morning when he tends the lamps. He must burn incense again when he lights the lamps at twilight so incense will burn regularly before the LORD for the generations to come."
~Exodus 30:6-8

There was an altar of incense that was placed in front of the curtain that separated the holy place from the most holy place. God's presence was behind the curtain. No one was allowed in there except the chosen priest once a year. God however required the priests to keep this incense burning regularly. For us today that is a reference to praying continually since the bowls of incense before Him in Heaven are the prayers of the saints.

That means like incense that burned before God our prayers are fragrant offerings to God. Isn't that amazing? And that curtain that separated anyone from coming into God's presence (in the temple) was torn in two when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus opened a way for us to come boldly into the presence of God (Hebrews 4:16). And even better so He gave us the Holy Spirit who is the very living breathing God to live within us. That is some amazing stuff! What an amazing gift we have to come before Him in prayer. So why do we not use that gift as often as we should?

Thoughts?

Father, give us ears to hear You, help us desire to pray continually. Help us to grow in you. We are amazed by You and Your greatness. We are in awe of You ways. Thank You for making a way for us. In Jesus Name. Amen.

A Small Study on Prayer - Part Four

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior"
~1 Timothy 2:1-3

In these verses I love that prayer is described as something that pleases God. And it is to be made for ALL people. It is an urgent request because it is important. It effects how we live. The verse goes on to state the reason for these prayers, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. Isn't that worth taking the time out to pray for?

Also, do not forget to pray for your leaders. They are the ones who make the decisions. They are the ones who God has put in place to do that. Pray for them continually because it effects things greatly. Do you believe this? And above all I want to please God. In these verses it says it pleases Him.