More About the Broken System and Our Story - Part Three

There was a family in need. We heard word of it. We HEARD. Too many people out there do not have ears to hear because they are so self focused. I understand. This was me and still is me in many ways. However, we heard, we had a choice of how we would respond. We all have a choice. The response of entering into a broken situation would not be easy. It would not be defined by black and white rules. It would be messy. It would be hard. It would be painful. Isn't that all the things we like to run away from? I know I do. BUT GOD.....

Christ has given us a ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5). He is working to restore all things to Himself and when we are in Christ that is the ministry we are given. Above all, we as His ambassadors; are to be in the business of reconciling others to Christ. Bumping our way through this process; we did this. It is not clear cut how you accomplish this, yet I know you must keep your eyes focused Heavenward and keep Christ and His resurrection in the forefront of your mind.

The problem with the system is that it is secular in general. Motivations are wrong. The only thing that should matter most is what is in the best interest of the child but this is often not the case. Children need love, food, clothes, shelter, and stability. The system tries to give them these things but more often the needs of birth parents are looked at over the children. Perhaps it is because they are the ones causing the disruption in the the family. Services are thrown at them but sometimes these parents need someone to walk through the process with them as to how to accomplish the assigned goals. I remember having to role play making a simple phone call with a parent who needed assistance with getting her electricity turned on. The simple skills needed for this task; she was lacking. She needed help learning to take care of herself and the basic needs of her children.

Institutional care for children is not best or what God instituted. God is the Creator of the family unit. All children deserve and thrive best in the context of a family setting. Foster care systems have been established to mimic this but they are far from best. Now, let me clarify this statement, there are, in lower numbers, great foster parents and homes who make the kids feel secure and fully accepted as their own. There are foster parents who get into this to truly give children in need a home and love on them as they need. However, it is not best. It leaves children in limbo. They are not freed up to be adopted into a forever family so they live with a fear of placement changes, their foster parents discontinuing services, their birth parents instability, and other factors.

By the grace of God when we saw this family in crisis we were able to step in and help. We were able to meet with the family on a regular basis in order to try to mend the situation working through this ministry of reconciliation. Typically in the ministry of reconciliation people are not in a right relationship with God, this in turn affects relationships with others and with themselves and then this greatly impacts the situations they are in. The book, When Helping Hurts has helped me see this and I wish I had read it before we started the process we ended up in.

An example of this is as follows;
You see these people in front of the stores/parking lot during the Christmas season holding up signs that say they are homeless or in need. They are there daily for most of the month of December. If they are truly in crisis, giving them the immediate need is good then you go from there working out the true issues behind the crisis. This is where the ministry of reconciliation starts working out. The problem with the people holding up the signs is that many people will throw cash at them but not take the time to really walk through the true issues they may be having. No reconciliation takes place. The cycle continues.

How this translates into childcare is entering into a situation where a family is in crisis. When this happens it is an opportunity to walk with them in order to help facilitate reconciliation. In some situations this is possible yet in others it is not. It depends on if the family is willing to work toward that reconciliation. This process takes a long time. Sometimes it can take a lifetime. The question is are we willing to walk with them?

I understand not all people can take another into their home, but we can all walk with hurting people with the hopes of reconciling them to God and one another. More to be discussed in the next post. This one was quite long. Thoughts?